Not only did I never consider my dad passing...

But what's weighing on my mind is that my mom decided to have him cremated. I asked her weeks ago while he was in hospice to see what he might wish for, but she didn't. And she said they'd never talked about it prior.
I understand many do it now more than ever , but it's just sad his body is truly not here. I get that even if buried, the body after many, many years will decompose anyway. But, it's just so final it seems, thinking of cremation. I have a few pictures of him in the hospital, before hospice, and one video during hospice..I'll treasure it always, to SEE my dad.😞💛

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dancingtongue · 80-89, M

It is sad you did not have family closure on this before, or at least on, entering hospice. It is surprising to me that the hospice did not insist on there being instruction from the family on preferences. Everyone, no matter how young, should have Advance Directives on what they prefer be done because death is unpredictable; it doesn't follow our schedules. They should be written, as well as discussed in advance with immediate family so any objections by family members can feel they had an opportunity to be included in the decision process so they don't feel excluded and/or betrayed afterwards.

My late wife, I, and my late partner all had/have done that. The only unresolved issue for my wife and I was what to do with our ashes, and my wife's still sit in the chest of drawers under the TV in our family room space. I told my youngest son -- who is my executor -- a few weeks ago I had finally reached conclusion: both our ashes are to buried in one of those new ecologically friendly final resting places along the Pacific Coast. Whether they are in containers or not, up to him and them. If they want to mix the ashes of both us, even better.