Struggles & Identity > Life

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Trying to get used to my dad passing

He's in hospice. This is just so sudden. Over two weeks ago he was diagnosed with aggressive Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and chemo would kill him, given his comorbidities. So they 've give n him a few weeks. It's utterly mind boggling. But it'll be shorter because he's declining fast. No longer drinking or eating.
I am trying to pretend he's already passed Bec I know it's not far, but I simply can't see how I can live with him not here🙁

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

My dad passed in 2019. He had been in ill health for a while. Other family members passed suddenly.

There's only your reaction and how you process it(the stages of grief). It's like anything else in life, you kinda run at it with your head down. It's your own process and no one can tell you how to go through it--there is no formula. But you'll find your way.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 Thank you.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist You can message me whenever you need to.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 I appreciate that, thanks my friend. 🫂

Stephie · 22-25, F

One can never be prepared for such a definite event. You have to accept the fact that it will happen one day but one can never be fully ready.

I do wish you strength and courage to face that moment. We are all here to support you emotionally if you need a shoulder to lean on.

Mmiker · 46-50, M

@Stephie such a special response.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Stephie Thank you💛

Rokan · 36-40, M

When my dad passed i was 28. I felt it was unfair everyobe else i knew got to keep their dads for so long, and it was very hard, but i also wanted to live a life that he would be proud with like he was a good man who helped the community.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Rokan How did he pass? I agree that's young to lose your dad. He'd be really proud, no doubt, that you decided to live standing tall.

Rokan · 36-40, M

@Coralmist i guess you can say cancer but it was really an infection he couldnt fight off because the chemo made him too weak. He was 88.

ABCDEF7 · M

Talk to him. Talk to him what he likes. Give him the happiness the happiness that he deserves, that much that you can give. This moment will not come back..

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@ABCDEF7 I've been talking with him daily, putting on music etc. I hope it helps him feel calm.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Coralmist That's good, tell him all good things that you never told him about himself. Ensure he goes with happiness in his heart.

AstroZombie · 36-40, M

I'm sorry for your loss :(

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@AstroZombie he has not passed yet, I'm trying to acclimate myself to when and if he does soon🙁

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JimboSaturn · 56-60, M

You can and will get past this.

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

@JimboSaturn Thank you so much. Having PTSD , I can occasionally get heart palpitations under different circumstances, and I fear I'll be so panicked when he passes. But I'm trying to get used to the fact I can't change or heal his illness, and one day we all transition to another space..I'm not religious so it's hard to wrap my mind around where he's going. I'm trying to believe in some way he will be ok. Ty friend 🌼

JimboSaturn · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Like ABCDEF7 said, just do you best for him right now. I'm not religious either, but I got condolence in the fact they died the best way and had a good life and will be remembered.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@JimboSaturn And hopefully their spirit lives on in some space or way. TY Jimbo 🌟

tenente · 36-40, M

I'm so sorry this is happening and hope you will find comfort

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@tenente Ty tenente🌼

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

🫂

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@CrazyMusicLover 🫂🌹

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