The guilt and struggle I deal with

If I got on the bus she would still be alive.

But there are so many things that lead to why I has having a bad day.

I was hungry
I was in pain
I was tired
I was thirsty
I had to go to the restroom so bad.

All of these reasons where because of my mother.

She wouldn't let me eat breakfast
She didn't give me a drink water
She hit me many times before I went to school.
My tics and outbursts where so bad

But still all I had to do was stay calm enough to get on the bus and I couldn't.

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4meAndyou · F

I am sorry I missed this post. BUT...it makes me ANGRY that your stinking C word of a mother's voice is still in your head, TELLING you that if you got on the bus your sister would still be alive.

When in fact, she didn't allow you to eat breakfast, she didn't allow you time to go to the bathroom, she didn't give you any water...and every single thing that happened that day was HER FAULT.

Of course that abusive C word blamed YOU. She didn't have enough humanity in her to even REALIZE that it was SHE who caused EVERYTHING that day.

Cigarguy · 41-45, M

@4meAndyou on good days I agree with everything you on bad days it's not as easy

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy On bad days, I want you to repeat after me..."It was the C word's fault. It was all the C word's fault."