For those who have lost a parent..

Is there ever a sense of guilt that maybe it should’ve been you and not them? Or thinking it should’ve been the other parent? Am I a bad person for thinking those things? I feel awful about it, but it’s so easy to blame myself when I grieve.
Follow up: how do you react when people tell you to “get over it”? I’ve heard this said to me many times and I never know what to say but my jaw always drops. It’s crazy that people who have never experienced loss think you can just forget what happened with time. No. You never do. It gets better, but you never forget.
Any help or answers are welcome. Thanks.

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blackarcher256 · 61-69, M

No….my dad was my best friend….my mom was a light in my life. I know without doubt that would have traded their lives for mine without hesitation. My dad lost himself to Alzheimer’s….it was a terrible thing….terrible to watch. My mother died young from breast cancer….but she truly believed she was going to a better place. What worried her most was leaving me behind.

I miss my parents every day…they are never far from my thoughts. The pain of their loss has faded…I can think of them now without the tears….remembering only the their love…their support…their unshakable faith in me. And when I need them most, I still feel them with me.

tylerdurden024 · F

@blackarcher256 I feel very deeply for your situation and am sympathetic for your journey. However, I’m glad you were blessed with great parents who were friends to you and loved you unconditionally. Even as time goes on, I know it is still difficult. But I’m glad to see that even those who grieve can make progress like you have, so thank you for expressing yourself ♡

blackarcher256 · 61-69, M

@tylerdurden024 Thank you….and you’re welcome. I hope you find a measure of peace as you deal with you loss and your grief.