For those who have lost a parent..

Is there ever a sense of guilt that maybe it should’ve been you and not them? Or thinking it should’ve been the other parent? Am I a bad person for thinking those things? I feel awful about it, but it’s so easy to blame myself when I grieve.
Follow up: how do you react when people tell you to “get over it”? I’ve heard this said to me many times and I never know what to say but my jaw always drops. It’s crazy that people who have never experienced loss think you can just forget what happened with time. No. You never do. It gets better, but you never forget.
Any help or answers are welcome. Thanks.

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luvelle · 22-25, F

Telling someone to "get over" their parents' death is very disrespectful. Those who have lost a loved one never truly get over it, they simply learn to live with the loss. And I think it's completely normal to have those feelings and thoughts. Grief is an intricate and multifaceted experience, and it's natural to have conflicting emotions and thoughts. Sometimes, the things we think or feel might not reflect our true intentions, and they can also be a result of unresolved issues or strained relationships we had with someone we lost.