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Death and denial

It always seems unexpected somehow. Even when you really DO know it's coming.
I knew when I took my dog to the vets, the chances of getting to bring him back were almost zero. He was very old and very ill.
That's why I took him to the vets after all.
It still seemed so abrupt, so sudden, and driving home without him felt wrong.
For days afterwords, I got these sensations out of nowhere like I'd forgotten him somewhere. Id feel panic, as though I needed to go pick him up and 'save him', protect him.
A second later Id come to my senses.
I didnt expect losing a dog to hurt this much.
Now I look at my other dog, a fourteen year old GSD, and I KNOW its coming. And I don't think I can handle it.
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Disgustedman · 61-69, M
That's the thing I'm scared about and I would love to get a dog or a cat but I wouldn't want to get a puppy or kitten because if I croak out who's going to take care of my baby?