Sad
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How do you know if you made the right choice

So I’ve been looking at my life and things are pretty shitty for me , most days I wake up and wish I could go back years ago to start life once again. Everyone keeps telling me I’ve got lots to be grateful for but unfortunately I don’t feel that way .
Please guys how did you learn to move past decisions you made and not regret it or learn to appreciate life more because I’m in a rot where I don’t appreciate anything.
Top | New | Old
I go down to basics.

Sometimes we get so lost in ideals and wants and expectations - we forget where qe are .....what we have.

Like, my base point is:
- i can walk
- i can talk
- i can look after myself
- i have a job
- i have a roof over my head, food in my stomach
- my health is ok.
- im safe from threat.

....all thsse are GOOD things. Not everyone has them all.
These are a great starting point.

I depend on no-one. I muddle through from one problem, issue, event, situation to the next.....and i come out ok.

There are so many things that could wreck this balance:
- sickness
- disabilty
- injury
- poverty
- loss of freedom
- violence or threat.....etc.

I have watched a friend 10 years younger than me lose EVERYTHING to MS: Her mind, her memory, her family, her job, her marriage, her kids, her functioning body.

Things like that make me realize shit could be so much worse.

Maybe compare yourself to others who have it worse?
Youll see where you can be grateful so much easier.
💜
Rogo1 · 36-40, M
Thanks @OogieBoogie I know this makes a lot of sense and you are speaking the absolute truth. My major problem is I always compare myself to my peers who are doing far better than me and it keeps me stuck in this rot like I made all the wrong decisions all my life.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
I don't know how to convince you but you have to learn to accept that the past cannot be changed, that you can only change the futures, and that you actually live in the present.

Concentrating on the mistakes you made in the past is just a way of passively avoiding making decisions that affect your future. You don't have to be grateful, you do have to be active.

You can't start your life again in the past, but might be able to make a start on staring your life again now.

Separate the regret about what you did earlier from what you are doing now. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad that the past was not as good as it could have been so long as it does not prevent you from acting now.

I don't claim that it's easy, I've struggled occasionally with the same problem. One thing that can help, I feel, is to make a radical change to your circumstances; move to another town, associate less with people who are holding you back, join a club, volunteer for some charitable effort. Also not easy, in my case the change in circumstance was forced on me. I wish you good luck.
TinyViolins · 31-35, M
Sometimes when we feel like something is missing, we create soothing fantasies about ways of getting or acquiring that thing. When you say that you wish you could go back and re-do things, what is it that you hope to acquire with this new life?

I think when we can analyze what we're missing, we can start to create room in our lives to fill that void with our future choices. The past is there to learn from, not to re-live or re-imagine. If you knew then what you know now, what would change?

Once we can isolate that thing that we seek, and to try to understand exactly why we are seeking it, we can begin making decisions and moving forward instead of feeling stuck
I just would tell myself that I made the best decisions based upon the time and the circumstances. There are no do overs. Never. So you learn to appreciate what you have and where you are. If you don't like that, then you can change it. That is a choice. What kind of a life do you want? Then work toward that. You are middle-aged. Time to grow up.
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
I wish I could go back and change many things. I figure that the choices I made were part of my life’s path and I suck it up and move forward. I just keep on going. I don’t let things get me down that I cannot change or have no control over. It’s Mindset
smiler2012 · 61-69
@Rogo1 any decision made is a personal one and sometimes it is the right one and sometimes the wrong one . when the latter you made a mistake and move on forward and use it as a marker too not make the same error twice
Wiseacre · F
Of all the wrong decisions u made, there must've been some right ones, I'm sure. Don't be so hard on itself.
Rogo1 · 36-40, M
Thank you @Wiseacre , unfortunately I always feel I’ve made the wrong decision in life but people keep telling me otherwise.
Wiseacre · F
@Rogo1 there u go...believe us!
I think you have to force yourself to look at this:

• Will your wallowing in, worrying about, beating yourself up due to a poor choice in the past change that or otherwise help?

NO‐‐it will only sap your energy & will to do
something about it.

SOOO

• What can you do NOW & moving forward to try to fix that?
Wiseacre · F
There are no certainties in life. I just hope for the best and keep going.
Instead of focusing on the past that can't be changed, look to the future. What do you want? How can you make it happen? Look to the past only to learn from your mistakes .. not to dwell on them.
kutee · 22-25
look forward never back
Musicman · 61-69, MVIP
Most of us if we are honest wish we had made a few different choices in our lives. If you could go back for a do over what changes would you make? What do you want different in your life?

 
Post Comment