Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Empathy and Emotional Intelligence …

Empathy is an important aspect of emotional intelligence … Empathy is the ability to share and understand the feelings of another person ….

Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective ….

It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, to feel their pain or joy and respond in a way which is appropriate and helpful …

How empathetic are you??
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
While it’s a good trait to have when dealing with people in the various ways we do to forge and build relationships, I learned a long time ago that being too receptive to the emotions of others can be a problem. I get so overcome by the struggles/emotions of others that my deep empathy for them easily overrides my ability to keep any kind of intelligence and strength at the forefront. It truly makes me feel like a weak person instead of the strong one that can bear so much from others. …I don’t like it. This year with everything I’ve had going on I narrowed down a lot of my empathetic triggering to the reactions of others, especially when it’s in response to something I’ve put out there. I can be so strong sharing bad news, but the second someone reacts with an ounce of sympathy I instantly feel their sadness and I break…severely. It’s ridiculous to admit but it’s almost like in that moment my empathy punishes me for bringing darkness to another. So as a defense mechanism I’ve stopped sharing bad news in person not only because I don’t want to bring any kind of sadness or pain to others, but also because I simply don’t want to hurt my heart and soul anymore than I have to. Being [i]this[/i] empathetic is just too much and man, what I’d give to have a healthy level of it instead of what I’ve been given.

That’s why we get wiser by living life, learning and applying the lessons we learn … 🌹
Handfull1 · 61-69, F
@PerfectionOfTheHeart incredibly well said. Our biggest strengths are often our biggest weaknesses!
Livingwell · 61-69, M
@PerfectionOfTheHeart Well said. You have a beautiful heart worth protecting. 🤗✌🏻
I'm empathetic.

But there is a dark side to untethered empathy that allows you to feel into other peoples pain. It is a distortion of a boundary between oneself and the other. And it can deplete a person to the point of making them ill.
There is no intelligence in having this empathy. Mostly it is a trauma response which keeps you alert to other peoples changes.
The intelligence is complete when one is able to hold space for another without depletion of self.

I've learned to do that.

Very well said…. Emotional intelligence, very well, helps us create balance between our and their emotions, and set boundary to limit and avoid any pain that our empathy might create …
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@thinkingoutloud well said.
I too learned the hard way to think more about ny own boundries to protect myself.
It’s in my nature, whether it’s interacting with friends or strangers. I often wonder, “how would I feel if I were in their shoes…”. And that starts a long internal consideration of many diff situations.

Empathy is not just tolerance of others’ differences. It is more of our willingness to accept and understand others despite the differences from us.
Exactly … beautifully said ..

Thank you beautiful lady 🤗🤗❤️🌹
As others also mentioned, being able to set boundaries is important. “Feeling” other people all the time can consume our energies too.

I absolutely agree …
RuyLopez · 56-60, M
I think it important to understand that although we maybe able to put ourselves in someone else's shoes we still experience what they see or are going through from our personal experiences and bias. The willingness to attempt to see things from another's perspective is no less important though.

Yes, very true … it’s very very hard to understand other peoples emotions from their perspective… that’s why I think listening to them is more important than giving them advice …

This makes me think more about the way we can be empathetic in a better way …

Thank you dear Ruy 🤗🤗
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
My emotional intelligence is very high and my empathy is strong, it's a trait I'm proud of as most can only sympathize (feel sorry for others, be sad about their pain) while empathy means understanding someone in any given situation and feeling.

However. I have had to learn that setting boundaries doesn't mean I am less empathic, they are not inclusive.

Yes, exactly … I couldn’t say it any better … 🙏🤗🌹
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@Soossie I also think high EQ makes it easy to enjoy meeting new people too. I'm intrigued to hear about others and connect. I think it must be hard to do so if you don't understand others. I don't need people to be like me to understand their person. It gives me a big playground so to speak.
I once attended a meeting where the speaker said: ‘You can trust me.’

I thought to myself , ‘anyone who needs to say that cannot be trusted at all’.

A friend of mine was also at the meeting. He felt exactly the same.

You do not know my life experiences, and how I respond, nor I yours.

FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M
One time I asked the lady at the pharmacy what time they opened since there was an out to lunch sign in the window and she lit into me that I should have empathy and how hard these people work so I'm either not good at it or she was crazy.

She was probably crazy but definitely not empathetic ….
Above average for men I would say. I dont have issues seeing things from someone elses perspective .. or seeing when they lack that ability themselves. Helps reduce how often my having empathy leads to letting others overstep boundaries .. save the one.

Well done … I can see how you’ve been able to make a balance in there .. 👏👏
melissa001 · 51-55, F
I think I'm too empathetic if one can be. I get to emotional even with other people's problems.

That can bring you pain … unfortunately if we don’t learn the limits we might get hurt …
melissa001 · 51-55, F
@Soossie yes I feel hurt a lot.

I’m sorry to hear …
Spica · 31-35, F
I’m naturally empathetic. I don’t try hard.
It is spontaneous and can’t be helped. Sometimes I wish I didn’t care much

I noticed you and your empathy towards the recent events … I felt the same … 🤗🤗🌹
RubySoo · 56-60, F
But i have learned these last few years I need to protect myself so much better when trying to be there for others.

Well done … we need to take care of our own emotions first … 🤗🌹
Fairydust · F
I’m highly emphatic, I’ve always been a feeler, I’m super sensitive to others and their pain.

I have noticed that about you in here Miss Fairy …. 🤗🥰
Fairydust · F
Aw and you too 🥰🌷✨
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
Honestly, it's something I work on. It does not come naturally to me.

Normally, I'm a bit oblivious and I assume others feel and experience the same way I do. This is, of course, almost never the case.

But when I put on my empathy cap, I'm good. I just need to remember to put in that effort to understand others more often.

To me, You have always appeared to be understanding and kind …

I absolutely agree with you that we, mostly, see others from our perspective, which is usually wrong .. and I appreciate your honesty on this … 🤗🤗🌹
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@Soossie Thank you. I answered this way because some people I know seem "naturally" empathetic. I know that in my case it is something I need to consciously turn on (but I do try to turn it on and work at it often or always).

Aww!!! Lol …. Yours??
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M

No, I just looked for images of "cat in shoes", LOL.

I cannot have a cat due to allergies. Also, I do not want to have to keep it inside all the time (I could not let it outside, it is against my lease terms) or clean up after it, be responsible, etc. It is hard enough just to take care of myself.

I do understand your point ..🤗🤗
in10RjFox · M
I am highly empathetic with logical reasoning power and good in exposing enactment and those drama queens.

Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
Very empathetic. Sometimes caring too much backfires and you end up being used.

Too much empathy for a certain person might turn out to be codependency … empathy that is part of emotional intelligence help us understand their position and not to exchange position …
A bit. It wasn’t exactly a strength of mine, but I’ve learned some over the years.

Glad to hear that ….
ravenwind43 · 51-55, F
I am empathetic without being personally torn apart by it, which is a good balance.

It is indeed …
sad part is...
... we all start with pretty good "EQ"
so natural as a child to feel the emotions of others

but for so many, it is quashed, smothered, ridiculed, as a form of Weakness

I was lucky, and never let go of mine
now I find so many overwhelmed by the emotions of others, panicked, "AM I losing my mind?"

So I try to help
once free of restraint? many things are possible
but it DOES take practice
pearllederman · 61-69, F
i try to be but i wish others had more emphathy too but they dont

Aww!! You’re an angel…. I Know that you always do things in a correct way, especially when it comes to empathy …

Aww!!! I hope that won’t effect your own emotions …
@Soossie They do . That's why I tend to pull away and try to redirect myself

Well done … right on lady Chernobyl … 🌹🌹🤗
BLP11520 · 61-69, M
Pretty good at it

Good meaning high or balanced??
Lifehues · 51-55, M
Empathy is a trait to cultivate, as we realise the differences and can appreciate what the others goes through. I like the word compassion too, it is not just being empathetic but at the same time demands the action to grow out of the challenge.
JaggedLittlePill · 41-45, F
Society is severely lacking in the emotional stability and intelligence realm. I am sometimes overly empathetic and can take on the feelings of others .....I think this is my way of taking some of their burden. I feel that many do not understand this about me and call me emotional and say things like "don't let it get to you" but it should "get to you". The suffering of other humans should make you feel some sort of way.

This is very very kind … I can somehow relate to that but being overly empathic, has caused me anxiety and mild depression … that’s why we need to be able to control the limit of being empathic to avoid hurting ourselves … I think … 🌹🌹
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
You need to have emotional intelligence to form empathy. There are actually 3 types of empathy.

Emotional Empathy, Cognitive Empathy and Compassionate Empathy.

When you have Emotional empathy you build connections with others.

Cognitive empathy gives us the ability to understand how a person is feeling and how they may be thinking.

Compassionate empathy which is also known as Empathetic concern goes beyond connecting with someone. It actually moves us to take action to help however we can.

I have had to really learn boundaries with people because I feel what they are feeling. I take that on and it affects me physically and emotionally.

I want to help them with whatever I can do but I realize I can’t always be that person as much as I want to be.

Empathy and emotional intelligence are two concepts that are closely related and often used interchangeably. However, they are not the same thing. While emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, understand, and manage one's own emotions and the emotions of others, empathy specifically refers to the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Let's take a closer look at these concepts and their relationship to each other.

Thank you … I learnt from you and also Brava for learning boundaries which is the important line between being emotionally empathetic and emotionally intelligent … 🤗🤗🌹❤️
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@Soossie I completely agree with you. I learned emotional intelligence while setting boundaries for myself in regards to empathy.

I was struggling when I was taking on the feelings of those around me. Emotional intelligence has helped me to manage those emotions to they don’t affect me so physically and emotionally.

Thank you for this post. It’s really important to talk about 🩷💜💖.

Post Comment
72,342 people following
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Forums Topic Members