Empathy and Emotional Intelligence …

While it’s a good trait to have when dealing with people in the various ways we do to forge and build relationships, I learned a long time ago that being too receptive to the emotions of others can be a problem. I get so overcome by the struggles/emotions of others that my deep empathy for them easily overrides my ability to keep any kind of intelligence and strength at the forefront. It truly makes me feel like a weak person instead of the strong one that can bear so much from others. …I don’t like it. This year with everything I’ve had going on I narrowed down a lot of my empathetic triggering to the reactions of others, especially when it’s in response to something I’ve put out there. I can be so strong sharing bad news, but the second someone reacts with an ounce of sympathy I instantly feel their sadness and I break…severely. It’s ridiculous to admit but it’s almost like in that moment my empathy punishes me for bringing darkness to another. So as a defense mechanism I’ve stopped sharing bad news in person not only because I don’t want to bring any kind of sadness or pain to others, but also because I simply don’t want to hurt my heart and soul anymore than I have to. Being [i]this[/i] empathetic is just too much and man, what I’d give to have a healthy level of it instead of what I’ve been given.

I'm empathetic.

But there is a dark side to untethered empathy that allows you to feel into other peoples pain. It is a distortion of a boundary between oneself and the other. And it can deplete a person to the point of making them ill.
There is no intelligence in having this empathy. Mostly it is a trauma response which keeps you alert to other peoples changes.
The intelligence is complete when one is able to hold space for another without depletion of self.

I've learned to do that.

It’s in my nature, whether it’s interacting with friends or strangers. I often wonder, “how would I feel if I were in their shoes…”. And that starts a long internal consideration of many diff situations.

Empathy is not just tolerance of others’ differences. It is more of our willingness to accept and understand others despite the differences from us.

I think it important to understand that although we maybe able to put ourselves in someone else's shoes we still experience what they see or are going through from our personal experiences and bias. The willingness to attempt to see things from another's perspective is no less important though.

My emotional intelligence is very high and my empathy is strong, it's a trait I'm proud of as most can only sympathize (feel sorry for others, be sad about their pain) while empathy means understanding someone in any given situation and feeling.

However. I have had to learn that setting boundaries doesn't mean I am less empathic, they are not inclusive.

I once attended a meeting where the speaker said: ‘You can trust me.’

I thought to myself , ‘anyone who needs to say that cannot be trusted at all’.

A friend of mine was also at the meeting. He felt exactly the same.

You do not know my life experiences, and how I respond, nor I yours.

One time I asked the lady at the pharmacy what time they opened since there was an out to lunch sign in the window and she lit into me that I should have empathy and how hard these people work so I'm either not good at it or she was crazy.

Above average for men I would say. I dont have issues seeing things from someone elses perspective .. or seeing when they lack that ability themselves. Helps reduce how often my having empathy leads to letting others overstep boundaries .. save the one.

I think I'm too empathetic if one can be. I get to emotional even with other people's problems.

I’m naturally empathetic. I don’t try hard.
It is spontaneous and can’t be helped. Sometimes I wish I didn’t care much

Very.
But i have learned these last few years I need to protect myself so much better when trying to be there for others.

I’m highly emphatic, I’ve always been a feeler, I’m super sensitive to others and their pain.

Honestly, it's something I work on. It does not come naturally to me.

Normally, I'm a bit oblivious and I assume others feel and experience the same way I do. This is, of course, almost never the case.

But when I put on my empathy cap, I'm good. I just need to remember to put in that effort to understand others more often.

I am highly empathetic with logical reasoning power and good in exposing enactment and those drama queens.

Very empathetic. Sometimes caring too much backfires and you end up being used.

A bit. It wasn’t exactly a strength of mine, but I’ve learned some over the years.

I am empathetic without being personally torn apart by it, which is a good balance.

sad part is...
... we all start with pretty good "EQ"
so natural as a child to feel the emotions of others

but for so many, it is quashed, smothered, ridiculed, as a form of Weakness

I was lucky, and never let go of mine
now I find so many overwhelmed by the emotions of others, panicked, "AM I losing my mind?"

So I try to help
once free of restraint? many things are possible
but it DOES take practice

i try to be but i wish others had more emphathy too but they dont

Too much at times

Pretty good at it

Empathy is a trait to cultivate, as we realise the differences and can appreciate what the others goes through. I like the word compassion too, it is not just being empathetic but at the same time demands the action to grow out of the challenge.

Society is severely lacking in the emotional stability and intelligence realm. I am sometimes overly empathetic and can take on the feelings of others .....I think this is my way of taking some of their burden. I feel that many do not understand this about me and call me emotional and say things like "don't let it get to you" but it should "get to you". The suffering of other humans should make you feel some sort of way.

You need to have emotional intelligence to form empathy. There are actually 3 types of empathy.

Emotional Empathy, Cognitive Empathy and Compassionate Empathy.

When you have Emotional empathy you build connections with others.

Cognitive empathy gives us the ability to understand how a person is feeling and how they may be thinking.

Compassionate empathy which is also known as Empathetic concern goes beyond connecting with someone. It actually moves us to take action to help however we can.

I have had to really learn boundaries with people because I feel what they are feeling. I take that on and it affects me physically and emotionally.

I want to help them with whatever I can do but I realize I can’t always be that person as much as I want to be.