I’m a mess

I have always heard you can't get clean with your partner/lover youve used with.

I think facilities say this because the statistics are so high.

Idk the other factors about your partner, but if the relationship is healthy and good and WORTH continuing, because sometimes wr have relationships in full blown addiction that aren't worth anything, but if he is I'd first see if he wants to stop & then explain you are & cant be around it.

At the end of the day either he'll get help or he won't but you're only responsible for you and what I read says you want to/need to change what you're doing.

The journeys is long but I believe youll make it to the otherside. 😊

Panic attacks are the worst in general. I hope you get the peace you're seeking without the drugs/alcohol.

I had panic attacks after a break up for a year and half . Yes . With no drink or weed . I was sober then .
I had panic attacks when I was drinking and on weed after a break up .
The 2 of them had the same effect , accept when I was sober and off weed I didn’t go mad .
I did go mad when I was with the one drinking and smoking weed .
It left me with psychosis for 3 years .
I’m sober 18 years now and didn’t go weed for 18 years . I don’t have psychosis .
That left me 19 years ago and I went through nearly everything mentally a person could go through and stayed sober and off weed through it all .
I can’t tell you what to do but if your going off drink or weed or you in your case drugs and trust in a God of your understanding you’ll have a great life and always be grateful .
Otherwise drinking and drugs .
What they call it ? The 4 horsemen .
Bewilderedness - Frustration- Terror and despair are the 4 emotions you get from addiction .
That’s the Law of life , not from me. .

It is a scary move and I understand your hesitation.

I can only recount my rehab experience. The majority of my co-residents were much younger than I was, from a different culture and looking to kick drugs instead of alcohol.

I was uneasy going in. But by the second day I was startled to realize I could not have been treated with more courtesy and consideration if I'd been a queen. I'm quite serious. In fact, I began to worry I wasn't getting the "full dose" of rehab, the way they speak about golf club prisons.

Still in a blurry state the first few days, most of us were sitting on the patio in various stages of blurriness and I blurted out, "You're the sweetest bunch of criminals I ever met!" They all laughed and teased me about it for the rest of my stay.

It wasn't just me, though. When new people came, many in intense withdrawal, other residents voluntarily sat with them, held the bucket when they vomited, gave them candy because a sweet tooth is a by-product of addiction. When a newbie sat in the June sun shivering visibly because they were cold, tough dudes got them blankets and hot drinks.

It was like "the outside" should be but so rarely is.

Boys from rival gangs played on the same pickup basketball team.

The lion lay down with the lamb.

That was what happened to me.

After hearing their stories, I left rehab wondering what the heck I was upset about and thinking EVERYBODY should go to rehab.

when you say 'being away' do you mean dead or separate vacations away? I could see a panic attack for the first I guess.

Is your partner into the drugs and alcohol..?

I quit everything but weed and 20 klonopin I manage to get every month. For me I had to. I have health problems. But just weed works for me. I wish you well