I’m a mess

It is a scary move and I understand your hesitation.

I can only recount my rehab experience. The majority of my co-residents were much younger than I was, from a different culture and looking to kick drugs instead of alcohol.

I was uneasy going in. But by the second day I was startled to realize I could not have been treated with more courtesy and consideration if I'd been a queen. I'm quite serious. In fact, I began to worry I wasn't getting the "full dose" of rehab, the way they speak about golf club prisons.

Still in a blurry state the first few days, most of us were sitting on the patio in various stages of blurriness and I blurted out, "You're the sweetest bunch of criminals I ever met!" They all laughed and teased me about it for the rest of my stay.

It wasn't just me, though. When new people came, many in intense withdrawal, other residents voluntarily sat with them, held the bucket when they vomited, gave them candy because a sweet tooth is a by-product of addiction. When a newbie sat in the June sun shivering visibly because they were cold, tough dudes got them blankets and hot drinks.

It was like "the outside" should be but so rarely is.

Boys from rival gangs played on the same pickup basketball team.

The lion lay down with the lamb.

That was what happened to me.

After hearing their stories, I left rehab wondering what the heck I was upset about and thinking EVERYBODY should go to rehab.