Do you dim your light for others?
I increasingly find this to be true in many relationships that I am aware of. One partners dims their shine to make the other half more comfortable. Pretty horrible really.
51-55, M
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PatKirby · M
Good question. My tendency is no, because of my self respect and self esteem that I choose not to compromise. The problem is, it's gotten me into trouble and fights for years. So I choose to employ discretion when I sense it's affecting someone else negatively. In that case, I make a subtle adjustment in consideration to them in the interest of maintaining and preserving friendship because I value them more than selfishly expressing myself inconsiderately.
Later on I let my light shine brighter and brighter in temperance to those close friends. In contrast to like minded, intelligent new acquaintances - all bets are off and we're off to the races. This skill took years to develop. However it in now way infringes upon my sense of self-worth or core values. I also practice this selectively at work because I want to keep my job. Non-friends and non-coworkers, if you can't keep up, so be it. You can kiss my shiny asteroid.
Later on I let my light shine brighter and brighter in temperance to those close friends. In contrast to like minded, intelligent new acquaintances - all bets are off and we're off to the races. This skill took years to develop. However it in now way infringes upon my sense of self-worth or core values. I also practice this selectively at work because I want to keep my job. Non-friends and non-coworkers, if you can't keep up, so be it. You can kiss my shiny asteroid.
Spoiledbrat · F
HakunaMatata · 51-55, M
@Spoiledbrat need not be.
Mindful · 56-60, F
Absolutely. I believe there is a time to shine, and a time to let others shine. I don’t think it’s okay to give up who you are at heart for others. But if 20 people were all in one room and no one “dimmed their” voice we would here from no one. And if you are more advanced in years, and understanding, you have to allow children to believe in Santa or the tooth fairy for a time…well you don’t HAVE too. You could just tell them where babies are come from to show off how smart you are.
HakunaMatata · 51-55, M
@Mindful what you are saying I agree. That is being authentic and mature really.
The context in which I wrote this is when someone is NOT being their authentic self to make their partner (or others around them) shine.
The context in which I wrote this is when someone is NOT being their authentic self to make their partner (or others around them) shine.
Chatwithme · 22-25, M
I only dim my bedroom lights when I’m about to have….