I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't this

I recently joined couple of trans groups on facebook and learned:
1. If I show any doubt during my ONE video call with the experts, I won't be considered viable for further treatments in regards to my gender
2. I have to have a BMI of 30 or less to get hormone treatments
3. I have to have a BMI of 28 or less to get the surgeries
4. I have to pay the surgeries myself


As someone who's always been overweight and has been on a fixed income the last 5,5 years, I feel like things are hopeless right now. But I want and need this, so I'm willing to stop drinking, eating candy/snacks, using nicotine, and whatever else it takes to become my true self.

I just wish I knew this sooner so it wouldn't come as such a surprise all at once. It's bad 3nough that a complete stranger I never met before is in charge of my future happiness and only requires one session via video to make a desicion.




And another thing I'm worried about is my Hidradenitis suppurativa. It's a skin condition that causes abcesses by hair removal. Some have it in their pits, some in their groin, some in both places.
I have it in my groin, and I can't even trim the hair there without getting an abcess.
When the time comes for my bottom surgery to happen, I'll have to remove all hair from there. If, or rather when, an abcess occurs I won't be viable for surgery bc of the bacteria in said abcess.

Again, this feels like a hopeless situation. But maybe laser removal will do the trick? Idk.