It makes complete sense that you’re feeling confused and overwhelmed right now. Realizing you might have feelings for someone, especially someone of the same gender when you’ve always thought of yourself as straight can shake up your whole sense of who you are. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way, and you’re not alone in it.
What you’re describing sounds like genuine care and affection, and that’s something to treat with kindness rather than fear. You don’t need to label yourself right away or make any big decisions. Attraction and identity can be complicated, and it’s okay to take your time figuring out what feels true for you.
Your family’s beliefs add another layer of pressure, and it’s understandable that you’re scared of how they might react. But your feelings don’t make you a bad person, and they don’t erase the good in you. You deserve space to understand yourself without judgment.
Spending time with him, like your ex suggested, might help you sort out what you’re feeling but only if it feels safe and comfortable for you. You don’t have to force anything or rush into a conversation you’re not ready for. Just being around him and noticing how you feel is already a step forward.
Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You’re navigating something deeply personal, and it’s okay to move slowly. Whatever you discover about yourself, it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love or acceptance.
