True but don't settle for the idea that love is a scam. True love still exists in this world. Go out there if you are still not married 😊. @masterofyou
Isn't love (in an adult romantic/intimate/erotic sense) just a 'feeling'? I thought I'd had it a few times in life but in all cases it evaporated (all for different reasons).
As an adult, a life without love means eating dinner alone every night. Going to sleep alone every night. It means missing out on dating, marriage, family, having kids…
The longest sociology study ever conducted was run by Harvard. They studied thousands of men over the course of their lives looking to see who was happy. Those who had love were the happiest. Those with good relationships were happier. Those without love were unhappy and died earlier.
If you had asked if “sexual encounters” should be transactional then I might have agreed. As my friend Steve said, “You gotta spend the green if you wanna see the pink!” and my friend Scott said, “All sex costs, even if the price is simply changing the sheets.” Bars are nothing but sex stores where the customers use whatever currency they possess, be it looks, riches or patter to acquire the most desirable sex partner they can get - or settle for the one they need. The other partner is judging their own self worth against what the seeker is offering and decides to engage based on that comparison. Like any good salesman the seeker uses booze or other adult stimulants to alter the judgement of the other in order to make himself appear more desirable or “valuable” and like any good used car salesmen, some people resort to underhanded tactics like roofies and so on, but that transaction is a fraud with the “goods” attained by deceit and as I often say, “The saddest thing a man can own is the thing he had to hurt someone else to possess.”
But in a “sexual relationship” the word “relationship” changes the entire equation. Sex is NOT, nor should it be, transactional in a relationship. In a relationship of love, trust and commitment sex is given freely as a gift bestowed on the other, whether they deserve it or not, whether they’ve “earned” it or not, simply because they want it or need it and that’s separates loving relationships from loving friendships. There is no transaction because there is no weighing of value. @zonavar68
No, love is not a scam. However, you can get scammed when looking for love. Think of love, the same way you think of wealth. Love is a lot like wealth.
If you hope to get wealthy quickly, fast, and in a hurry, just like someone famous you heard of, chances are you will get scammed, or end up committing some crime.
The most common “love scam” that people go through is this:
Often, one person may have the looks/beauty, the other has the riches/means/visa, etc. They trade, and a few years down the line, they realize they don’t love each other.
When that happens, one of them walks away. When they walk away, they aren’t walking away from the person they thought they loved.
Instead, they are walking away from the trade they did a few weeks, months, or years ago - to make another one - thinking it’s real love.
That’s always the case when the relationship is based on greed, lust, and covetousness.
Some love and get loved.
Now, contrast that with people who have dated each other for a while time, and they don’t love each other for what they have on the outside, but for who they are on the inside.
Such love relationships always last for a long time, and are often quite ”fruitful.” @assemblingaknob
