I let it happen twice
I just need to get this off my chest tbh. When I was 12 almost 13 I got invited to go out on my freind's dads boat so we went. It was just her and him and me. She's Emma she's been my best friend since we were like 5. Anyway um, long story short, we were having so much fun. He's a really nice guy or I thought he was. Like I didn't think anything about sitting on his leg for a sec here and there when resting when i was waiting to see what we were doing next. he's like a second dad to me.
But then we were jumping off the boat and I slipped right as I was jumping and kinda came down with the edge of the boat um, between my legs.
It hurt but wasn't that bad, but he had me lay down and drink water and rest for a bit. He started talking about how he was responsible so he had to take me to the emergency room and they were going to have to look at me down there to make sure everything is ok. I like begged him no please don't I'm fine I didn't want some old rando doctor guy looking at me down there. So he said, like, he would only be comfortable not taking me if I let him look and make sure everything's fine. I hesitated but he has a daughter and hadn't ever tried to touch me or anything before and Emma was like just let him look K. I think she just want to get back to swimming.
This is where I start to like, hate myself. Cause like, every step, I said ok or at least didnt say no.
I don't want to put like everything here but he ended up looking at me, under my suit. And, ended up, touching me. Like, for a long time. To the point where, I felt like I was in a trance almost, and I was so embarrassed for Emma to see me, like that.
To make matters somehow even worse, I let her talk me into going over to their house about a week later, she said he was gone. He ended up coming home and insisted on checking me again. I should have ran out of there. It ended up being a whole thing, and lasting, I think, almost 2 hours. Again, in a trance a lot of it. I feel so stupid for not saying no. I feel so stupid for the way it felt.
I just needed to write this down. Thanks for reading. I could use someone to talk to about it tbh.
But then we were jumping off the boat and I slipped right as I was jumping and kinda came down with the edge of the boat um, between my legs.
It hurt but wasn't that bad, but he had me lay down and drink water and rest for a bit. He started talking about how he was responsible so he had to take me to the emergency room and they were going to have to look at me down there to make sure everything is ok. I like begged him no please don't I'm fine I didn't want some old rando doctor guy looking at me down there. So he said, like, he would only be comfortable not taking me if I let him look and make sure everything's fine. I hesitated but he has a daughter and hadn't ever tried to touch me or anything before and Emma was like just let him look K. I think she just want to get back to swimming.
This is where I start to like, hate myself. Cause like, every step, I said ok or at least didnt say no.
I don't want to put like everything here but he ended up looking at me, under my suit. And, ended up, touching me. Like, for a long time. To the point where, I felt like I was in a trance almost, and I was so embarrassed for Emma to see me, like that.
To make matters somehow even worse, I let her talk me into going over to their house about a week later, she said he was gone. He ended up coming home and insisted on checking me again. I should have ran out of there. It ended up being a whole thing, and lasting, I think, almost 2 hours. Again, in a trance a lot of it. I feel so stupid for not saying no. I feel so stupid for the way it felt.
I just needed to write this down. Thanks for reading. I could use someone to talk to about it tbh.
