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I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Chemist having a Bad Day
Arriving home, a husband was met by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "The Chemist. He insulted me this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
The husband drove down to confront the Chemist to demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the Chemist said "Now, just a minute mate . . . . hear my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late.
Without breakfast I hurried out to the car to realise I'd locked the house with the house and car keys inside. I Had to break a window to get my keys.
Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket,
Then about three streets from the store, I had a flat tyre.
When I finally got to the store, a crowd of people were waiting for me to open up.
I started waiting on these people, all the time the damn phone never stopped ringing.
Then I had to break open a bag of one and two dollar coins against the cash register drawer to give change and they spilled all over the floor.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the dollar coins and the phone was still ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with bottles of expensive perfumes on it.
Half of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up.
And I finally got to answer it.
It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me mate, as God is my witness . . . . . all I did was tell her exactly how to use it!”
Saragloucs · 46-50, F

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