⚠️ Controversial opinion alert 🚨 I don’t agree with the statement “you can’t compare trauma”

Because imagine defending example: Kim kardashian when she lost her earring and cried like the world was ending

And comparing that to rxxe or abuse or losing a loved one

I feel like that statement is a victim mentality excuse to wallow in self pity

I do however think that releasing and expressing your emotions is entirely necessary and healthy for your self growth

But there needs to be a point where you have to accept it and move on with your life and stop wallowing. That goes for any situation. You will never have any quality of life if you allow a trauma to consume your present

for example having a shit childhood doesn’t give you a free pass to be depressed all the time or abuse alcohol or substances or even people

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Classified · M

Truth be told, I think maybe Kardashian needs that kind of comments to have her reality show a success. 😅

When someone talks about their current or past traume, answering 'you are not the only one' can help somewhat because a lot of people feel like they are alone with their problem, but answering 'I or that person had it worse' does not do much good in my opinion.

I think not everyone can break free out of every kind of trauma though. 🤔
Still abusing substances or people would make their trauma worse and creates trauma for others, so they must stop or be stopped doing that.

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

@Classified absolutely

5lutmuffin · F

If something was truly traumatic for an individual, then that's where it's not comparable...for me, it's not about victim mentality but about validating someones experience & helping them move forward with their life. For the example of Kim & her earring, that's not really traumatic bc she was just overreacting.

It's more if a person was assaulted vs someone who just lost a loved one...the one who got assaulted is probably traumatized but in the wake of a death they never confront their trauma bc they feel it isn't as great as a person dying...however they are both traumatic events entirely on their own and in no comparison to one another.

Those who choose to wallow in their self pity are victims of how society pushed the mentality of getting over their traumas and moving on with their life simply by drilling into us that 'someone out there has it worse.' But that mentality never emphasized acknowledging the trauma, accepting it, and moving on. So they "move on" but the trauma resurfaces bc it was never addressed..this statement is a stepping stone to helping ppl heal before they suffer the repercussions

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

But the fact that you are calling them victims suggests that it is not within their power to change their situation and that is never the case unless someone is being held hostage or something lol. To blame society isn’t it. Society isn’t even real. Society is a concept so to act like society is holding you back is entirely not false. Something that doesn’t exist can’t hold you back, your mentality and mindset and the way you choose to react to a situation can

And I’m sure Kim would argue with you and claim that it was traumatic to her. and I could also turn around and say you are overreacting in regards to something you consider traumatizing

And again no one said it isn’t okay to express your emotions. It’s normal and a healthy mechanism we use to express pent up frustration

However like I said there is a limit. To justify someone wasting their entire life to get back what was taken away will never happen. So in order to have any kind of quality of life you will have to accept what happened, heal yourself the best way you can and move on with your life otherwise you aren’t living

@5lutmuffin

5lutmuffin · F

@DeluxedEdition I mean calling someone a victim doesn't imply all of what you stated. It just allows the person to accept that they were not at fault for what happened to them. I get what you're saying about society but I would argue it does exist, not in the physical form but in the ways we interact and understand social patterns within one another. for example, you can argue that you cant blame society for your circumstances but society heavily influenced your mental ability to overcome traumas in your life.

I'm pretty sure Kim losing a pair of earrings wasnt traumatic much as it was just upsetting...trauma isn't just an unfortunate circumstance but one that heavily influences and affects you. If it was truly traumatic then you cant argue her pain towards it is any less than a person grieving over a loss bc we associate trauma towards things we value.

Exactly, that is why the statement serves as a stepping stone to helping one overcome their trauma bc it doesnt justify them to throw their life away but helps them accept the reality and move on

SW-User

you’re not controversial you just don’t sugarcoat the truth lmao

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

@SW-User never sugar coat shit

Because at the end of the day it’s still shit 😌🕺

Slade · 56-60, M

@DeluxedEdition +1,000

OogieBoogie · F

OOOOOH .....you went where most dont !

👍

I agree that comparing trauma is difficult.
It was hard for me to learn.
And I use comparisons to help me gain perspective...
...like, at least I didn't have it as bad as "x".
So comparing CAN help.

But ultimately, you're right.

It happened ....learn and move on .

We all may not get to where we are completely healed, but we can get better than we were.

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

@OogieBoogie it was a hard lesson for me to learn in general because of the way our society is. We are a “keeping up with the jones” mentality

We are always comparing ourselves to each other. Oh I am not good enough because my car is a 13’ and not a 21’ like my neighbors.

Oh my friend has a bigger house than I do I’m not enough. Oh my friend on Facebooks business does better than mine

I feel it has a lot to do with increasing greed and exploiting hypercapitalism

NO. We are all on entirely different journeys in our life. We all did different things to get to where we are now and come from different places and states of being. No two people are the same in any way at all. No two people will ever be the same

Therefore for any two people to compare their lives and even feel inadequate is entirely pointless because none of us are going in the same direction. We are all headed on our each individualistic journey

Compare you to yourself only. It’s not a race or a competition

OogieBoogie · F

@DeluxedEdition this is too true.

Some people habe a great suport structure, or have money or a stable life around their issues.

Some dont.

And we all have different values too.

Its hard to ignore the ego of acquisition...showing our worth by possessions.

Its a false sense of emotional maturity.

Kinda makes you wonder how well those types wound do, if it fell apart 😏

Madmonk · M

All this is true.

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

Why thank you 😌@Madmonk

XDHyperGirlXD1 · 31-35, F

i read your pm message and i will never hand the fried chicken NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

SW-User

I know what you mean. I ran out of mustard earlier and I'd be disgusted if someone tried to compare that to something small like losing a limb or having cancer

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

@SW-User the audacity 😤

SW-User

@DeluxedEdition my heart is broken 💔 hot dogs without mustard? Life just isn't worth living 😭

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