⚠️ Controversial opinion alert 🚨 I don’t agree with the statement “you can’t compare trauma”

Because imagine defending example: Kim kardashian when she lost her earring and cried like the world was ending

And comparing that to rxxe or abuse or losing a loved one

I feel like that statement is a victim mentality excuse to wallow in self pity

I do however think that releasing and expressing your emotions is entirely necessary and healthy for your self growth

But there needs to be a point where you have to accept it and move on with your life and stop wallowing. That goes for any situation. You will never have any quality of life if you allow a trauma to consume your present

for example having a shit childhood doesn’t give you a free pass to be depressed all the time or abuse alcohol or substances or even people

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5lutmuffin · F

If something was truly traumatic for an individual, then that's where it's not comparable...for me, it's not about victim mentality but about validating someones experience & helping them move forward with their life. For the example of Kim & her earring, that's not really traumatic bc she was just overreacting.

It's more if a person was assaulted vs someone who just lost a loved one...the one who got assaulted is probably traumatized but in the wake of a death they never confront their trauma bc they feel it isn't as great as a person dying...however they are both traumatic events entirely on their own and in no comparison to one another.

Those who choose to wallow in their self pity are victims of how society pushed the mentality of getting over their traumas and moving on with their life simply by drilling into us that 'someone out there has it worse.' But that mentality never emphasized acknowledging the trauma, accepting it, and moving on. So they "move on" but the trauma resurfaces bc it was never addressed..this statement is a stepping stone to helping ppl heal before they suffer the repercussions

DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F

But the fact that you are calling them victims suggests that it is not within their power to change their situation and that is never the case unless someone is being held hostage or something lol. To blame society isn’t it. Society isn’t even real. Society is a concept so to act like society is holding you back is entirely not false. Something that doesn’t exist can’t hold you back, your mentality and mindset and the way you choose to react to a situation can

And I’m sure Kim would argue with you and claim that it was traumatic to her. and I could also turn around and say you are overreacting in regards to something you consider traumatizing

And again no one said it isn’t okay to express your emotions. It’s normal and a healthy mechanism we use to express pent up frustration

However like I said there is a limit. To justify someone wasting their entire life to get back what was taken away will never happen. So in order to have any kind of quality of life you will have to accept what happened, heal yourself the best way you can and move on with your life otherwise you aren’t living

@5lutmuffin

5lutmuffin · F

@DeluxedEdition I mean calling someone a victim doesn't imply all of what you stated. It just allows the person to accept that they were not at fault for what happened to them. I get what you're saying about society but I would argue it does exist, not in the physical form but in the ways we interact and understand social patterns within one another. for example, you can argue that you cant blame society for your circumstances but society heavily influenced your mental ability to overcome traumas in your life.

I'm pretty sure Kim losing a pair of earrings wasnt traumatic much as it was just upsetting...trauma isn't just an unfortunate circumstance but one that heavily influences and affects you. If it was truly traumatic then you cant argue her pain towards it is any less than a person grieving over a loss bc we associate trauma towards things we value.

Exactly, that is why the statement serves as a stepping stone to helping one overcome their trauma bc it doesnt justify them to throw their life away but helps them accept the reality and move on