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please come in and sit down, it's time for your performance review [I Love the Internet]

kelseyM
22-25, F
42 replies 86 views Dec 13, 2020
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BlueVeins 路 22-25
I'm ready 馃槗
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Degbeme 路 70-79, M
Is it that time already? 馃槻 *sits*
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@Degbeme thank you, we appreciate all you have done for this company, but it is time that we need to move in a different direction. Please pack your things
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Degbeme 路 70-79, M
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
SW-User
Bypassing this year..COVID
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@SW-User thank you for coming in, unfortunately you are not allowed to bypass your review, and because you tried to bypass it, we are going to have to let you go
+ 2 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
SW-User
@kelseyM Finally someone with good news...Im heading out the door and not looking back.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
HopelessGuy 路 M
I hate those.



You did a great job but not enough for a promotion or a good hike in your salary.
I don't have enough power to give you a promotion but I have a the power to ruin your entire time working in this organization blah blah blah.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@HopelessGuy thank you for giving yourself your review, we here at this company appreciate it, you may carry on.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Crazywaterspring 路 61-69, M
@kelseyM That's a relief. Usually they promise a ten cent raise "when things improve.".
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 14, 2020
JRVanguard 路 26-30, M
*Comes in dressed as you and mimics your movements while attempting to give you a performance review of your own*

It鈥檚 called a power move
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
JRVanguard 路 26-30, M
@kelseyM Did I make too many penis jokes or not enough?
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@JRVanguard we know you have been stealing the paper clips
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
JRVanguard 路 26-30, M
@kelseyM I just wanted to make a realistic sculpture of Mario Lopez made of paper clips馃槱
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
theAlchemist 路 56-60, M
We're going to have to let you go, due to your inappropriate flirtations with your coworker who weighs 439 pounds, never showers, and collects My Little Pony toys that have genitals....
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Crazywaterspring 路 61-69, M
@theAlchemist My job just hired them. They may not last long. Most of us are vets whose swearing blisters paint off concrete.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 14, 2020
MrSmooTh 路 31-35, M
I'm a white male so I already know this isn't going to go well. I don't bring enough diversity or cultural awareness to the workplace.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@MrSmooTh thank you for coming in, we have had too many complaints from our customers of you having a penis, and because of this, we here at the strip club are going to be letting you go.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
MrSmooTh 路 31-35, M
@kelseyM fair enough. Now I can dip my pen in the company ink.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
DarkHeaven 路
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Turtlepower 路 36-40, M
It's been awhile since I've had a real performance review lol
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@Turtlepower thanks for coming in, we have had some reports of your rubbing your nipples throughout the workplace, so we are going to have to let you go
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Turtlepower 路 36-40, M
@kelseyM Haha pretty sure I've done that and they haven't fired me yet. You're a brutal supervisor lol
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Rambler 路 M
*peels out of parking lot, disappears
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@Rambler you better not have just stolen my car
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Rambler 路 M
@kelseyM nah, I like mine for getaways
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Crazywaterspring 路 61-69, M
I was asleep. What is the problem?
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@Crazywaterspring oh thank you for coming in, even though you are 3 days late. We want to remind you that your job here is to run the sleep study, not sleep. Next slip up and you are out of here
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Crazywaterspring 路 61-69, M
@kelseyM Know what? I've got another job lined up. I'm not giving two weeks notice. You're fired! My stuff is already packed. I'll see myself out.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
SW-User
I truly tried my best 馃槳
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@SW-User thank you for coming in. We have had a few reports of you licking all the spoons in the kitchen, and because of that we will actually be letting you go
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
SW-User
@kelseyM
Whoever said that was lying but since I can't prove it...
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
BeefySenpie 路 M
*enters and starts pacing in circles
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 14, 2020
vetguy1991 路 51-55, M
Sitting nervously
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
Qwerty14
Lol go on then
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
uncalled4 路 56-60, M
I am ready to, er, perform.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@uncalled4 thank you for coming in, I'm sorry to let you know that you haven't been performing as of lately, as because of that you are fired
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
uncalled4 路 56-60, M
@kelseyM My ukelele playing didn't count?
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
candycane 路 31-35, F
I got a new job
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
kelseyM 路 22-25, F
@candycane thank you for coming in, if you would please direct your view to your new boss at your new job. We both are unhappy with your performance as of late, we need to let you go
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
candycane 路 31-35, F
@kelseyM great now i can work accross the street
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Dec 13, 2020
 
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