Yeah

I believe in movement definitely and then so relaxing and doing nothing is not my style.

I am at ease ,but I have wasted a lot of my life

I gave that used to be /could have been stuff up for lent .. circa 2023. Took my lessons from it, but what I can do something about starts in the present.

For now and looking forward .. I'm eating better, exercising more .. working on finding my peace and being a better version of me

I am not at ease and I am not content.

I spend countless hours contemplating all the many instances of my past that plague me all of the what ifs and could’ve beens.

I do my best to recognize and acknowledge my parts in those things I sometimes think were failures.

I accept accountability for my life and my therapist thinks I may be taken on too much on those areas of thinking.

But here I am grinding away at myself and still hoping for the things that lead me into the life and love I’ve always hoped for.
Exploring the possibilities and opportunities with a wish inside my soul that says it’s still possible.

But all my wishes and hopes up to this point have fallen on the deaf ears of my God, and my guardian angels.

Some of my wishes fell on the deaf ears of the devils and demons too.
For that I’m currently thankful.

Living is such a weird twisting thing even when you look back on it all.
I’m trying to find a way to be thankful for every good thing that’s happened and all the many lessons I’ve learned.

I’m also trying to find a way to accept the bad things and the traumas and still be a positive, forward moving person.

In the end, I just want to find someone that wants to be loved by me and that I love loving.

I waste wishes, wishing it all were easier.
**************************
Ends
By: Rob Paquin

A million different futures
But we only have one past
And any passing moment
Could surely be our last

But if I am destined just to die
Within the sum of what I’ve done
I’d really like to look back
And remember all the fun

I’d really like to look back
And shed the things that shattered me
And cast off all the people
That have simply played me

I’d like to die an honest man
That remembers what he got right
For all the people in his life
Who went through all those dark nights

I’d like to look into the eyes
Of a girl that truly saved me
And kiss her one last time
Before my creators come to claim me
~ The Snowdog

I am definitely not at ease nor content in my pain.

I'm at ease and content (happy) with life.

I don't often think about what used to be in the longing or what could have been sense, but I do at times wonder what it would be like today if this or that had gone differently.

I'm certainly not in pain... I've lived my life, made my mistakes, had my successes and have but one real regret, and that would be any pain I may have caused another.

Yes, I think about what used to be. I am also aware that what used to be could take away what is now, if I spend all my thoughts in it. I learned a lot. I respect my past and carry it gently. I let mistakes teach me. I let memories turn to gold.
Do I wish I could change how things are? Maybe I would have liked to be kinder and wiser at the time, if I could. Then I again, had it not stung, would I have learned to be better? Some things, you only pay attention when the pain hits. So no, I don't think I would change anything. I was genuine and myself at the time, even within my errors. Cheat-codes, if available, would have made the whole experience less sincere. At ease ? Content in pain? I wouldn't say that. Rather, increased awareness, acceptance, and efforts in being my "better self". Life has its way to repeat the same situations until you break the cycle. It is not the mistake that is the ptoblem. It is unchanged behavior. To change behavior, we must heal. The best way to heal is to be honest with ourselves and also kind to ourselves. Sometimes we get lost. The most important is that we actively input our best effort in finding ourselves again and on doing things with more presence. That is allowing us to be true to ourselves and to others. The past is there, behind. It is the lessons and the treasures. They serve to make better choices in the future. The present is where we can act. Every day, we have a chance to rebuild ourselves anew. To have a different outlook. What we do now, is really, the foundation of what we become. Of what life becomes. Overthinking of what could have been is nice but it can exhaust us and make us turn round at the same spot. It is nice to also think of what could it be? What could we do to make it happen ? What do we want ? Which future feels more "us"? What is the first step we will take? To where? Such simple questions, and yet, complex ^^. Choose wisely, and also allow your heart to feel the way. Often, it feels the direction before the thought forms completely :). All in all, learn, cherish, and walk forward with a knowing smile and an open heart :D

I have, but it makes me miserable
I accept my pain.
I chose to move forward

Not often but when I do I always conclude that there are too many variables to guess the outcome if I made different decisions in past.

I cannot change the way things turned out. I cannot change the past but it brought me here. So, currently I am taking steps not to repeat history.

Regrets ? I have a few ...but can't do anything about it now ...what's done is done ...take the lessons ...apply to future and so on

I am content in where I am. Yeah, it could have been better, but, it surely could have been a whole
lot worse.

If the situation is very bad, then you pray. Helps to know you can be desperate and ugly, and still there is Someone who will listen and help. Don't expect it from mere mortals. Is comforting to believe in a Higher Power that has their shit together, and are able to help.

I don't think anyone is content in their pain. That's something you learn to live with .

I’m comfy with where I’m at but looking back and thinking can pop up now and again.

sometimes i think about alt realities but i haven't made an effort to change anything yet tho