Do you often think about what used to be or what could have been?

Yeah

I am at ease ,but I have wasted a lot of my life

I gave that used to be /could have been stuff up for lent .. circa 2023

For now and looking forward .. I'm eating better, exercising more .. working on finding my peace

Pain has proven to be an awesome teacher for me to keep things in perspective and not have to make some missteps in the first place.

Confucius said, a smart man learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from other people's mistakes.

I am definitely not at ease nor content in my pain.

I am not at ease and I am not content.

I spend countless hours contemplating all the many instances of my past that plague me all of the whit is and could’ve beens.

I do my best to recognize and acknowledge my parts in those things I sometimes think were failures.

I accept accountability for my life and my therapist thinks I may be taken on too much on those areas of thinking.

But here I am grinding away at myself and still hoping for the things that lead me into the life and love I’ve always hoped for.
Exploring the possibilities and opportunities with a wish inside my soul that says it’s still possible.

But all my wishes and hopes up to this point have fallen on the deaf ears of my God, my guardian angels.
Some of my wishes fell on the deaf ears of the devils and demons too.
For that I’m currently thankful.

Living is such a weird twisting even when you look back on it all.
I’m trying to find a way to be thankful for every good thing that’s happened and all the many lessons I’ve learned.

I’m also trying to find a way to accept the bad things and the traumas and still be a positive, forward moving person.

In the end, I just want to find someone that wants to be loved by me and that I love loving.

I waste wishes, wishing it all were easier.
**************************
Ends
By: Rob Paquin

A million different futures
But we only have one past
And any passing moment
Could surely be our last

But if I am destined just to die
Within ng the sum will f what I’ve done
I’d really like to look back
And remember all the fun

I’d really like to look back
And shed the things that slatted me
And cast off all the people
That have simply played me

I’d like to die an honor nest man
The remembers what he got right
For all the people in his life
Who went through all those dark nights

I’d like to look into the eyes
Of a girl that truly saved me
And kiss her one last time
Before my creators come to claim me
~ The Snowdog

I'm at ease and content (happy) with life.

I don't often think about what used to be in the longing or what could have been sense, but I do at times wonder what it would be like today if this or that had gone differently.

I'm certainly not in pain... I've lived my life, made my mistakes, had my successes and have but one real regret, and that would be any pain I may have caused another.

Not often but when I do I always conclude that there are too many variables to guess the outcome if I made different decisions in past.

I cannot change the way things turned out. I cannot change the past but it brought me here. So, currently I am taking steps not to repeat history.

Regrets ? I have a few ...but can't do anything about it now ...what's done is done ...take the lessons ...apply to future and so on

I am content in where I am. Yeah, it could have been better, but, it surely could have been a whole
lot worse.

If the situation is very bad, then you pray. Helps to know you can be desperate and ugly, and still there is Someone who will listen and help. Don't expect it from mere mortals. Is comforting to believe in a Higher Power that has their shit together, and are able to help.

I’m comfy with where I’m at but looking back and thinking can pop up now and again.

I don't think anyone is content in their pain. That's something you learn to live with .