Sounds like you're still trying...it's a step. I can empathize and hope things will be alright. This time of year can be brutal when life has been kicking you down.

It's a weird time for sure. I think more people are struggling than not and many are hiding it behind the good cheer or trying to distract themselves with it. It personally feels darker to me this year, but I saw more decorations going up early and more people having them this year than the last couple years so it feels weird. Like more people have the Christmas spirit despite the year feeling so much worse

Sometimes life feels uncertain
Sometimes it feels like we’re spinning our wheels
Sometimes it feels like everything has fallen in to place
Just cause everything doesn’t feel right right now doesn’t mean it’s that far off
I believe in you

Stay hopeful, try and be positive, and take one day at a time.

I know you will be ok and take the right decision :)

Likewise here, life is uncertain