So, I'm thinking of asking if my elder wants to move in with me...

I saw her today. We watched some live music and she cried. Poor sweet thing. She doesn't want to be in a nursing home. It's a crazy idea, but I don't care. I don't care if it's hard. This is what we're meant to do. She shouldn't ever be alone.

I am scared, but I want to do this.

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Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

DO IT. 🩷🩷🩷

Bang5luts · M

Do it. You're awesome!

Bang5luts · M

My mom, she worked in nursing homes for most of my childhood. She doesn't want to live in one and I promised her she wouldn't have to. Not to buy land and start building

Elisbch · M

I took care of my mother for the last many years of her life. Each year got a bit harder because of natural decline of body and mind. I feel I/we were very lucky in this aspect of the whole process. Money and or insurance coverages can make dealing with any changes harder. We were able to keep her in her own home........ continued.....

Since you're taking a break I don't think I can send the rest of it privately as I had planned and if you're interested.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Elisbch thank you. I understand as I already lost both my parents also. So I know it will not be easy, but it feels very important. She is so sweet and wonderful, but wilting in a nursing home. She doesn't have long left, I just want her to feel safe and warm and loved.

Elisbch · M

@ScreamingFox

I'm sorry you've lost both your parents. 😞❤
(After reading some of your other replies)
You have to follow your heart then. Discuss it with her. It's obvious you have already had a lot of this to think about. I would much rather stay in someone's home providing it's welcoming than in a nursing home. I've seen so many of them just feel lost and forgotten. In this case I have to agree you need to follow your heart and work out the details the best you can. Just expect the unexpected and to be able to roll with it. If you care that much about her, you'll be able to do this. 😊👍🏻

Gusman · 61-69, M

That is such a beautiful gesture.
If you can manage it then I think it would be positive for both of you.
I'm sure you understand the pros and cons. Ambulance on speed dial, just in case.
Your elder has no family? No one visits her?

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Gusman she has a big family actually and they do visit her, but never mentioned her staying with any of them. I know it's hard. I lost my parents and they're losing her, it can be overwhelming. So I think that's where I can step in. And I don't live far from them at all, so I would have to open up my home. Which will be the hardest part for me.

She doesn't have much time left though, that's why I don't consider it a huge weight. She just needs somewhere to feel home.

Gusman · 61-69, M

@ScreamingFox Approach the family and put the proposition to them.
Having the family on side will make this easier.
Very good idea so give it a go.
If it does not work, you at least gave it a try.
Your elder might find some joy and happiness through your kindness.

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