Guys, I’m sorry to freak you out lol. I am NOT actively dying yet.

I did however sign a DNR, update my advanced directive, and opt out of any more curative treatments moving forward.

Mostly because the maintenance chemo is causing life threatening issues at this point. Things are iffy for me right now, not gonna lie, but we are still hopeful it can turn around and I’ll have some more decent days ahead.

My cancer is still stable for now and no one knows how long that will last. It doesn’t really matter though. A couple of weeks ago I was told that the secondary lung disease it caused is still progressing and is terminal even if the underlying disease doesn’t progress.

And now the curative stuff if causing issues there. It is a mess honestly. I’m hoping stopping that will give me some quality of life back for a little while. I’m looking forward to enjoying the holidays so the my family if that is in the cards.

But what we are not doing anymore is any heroic measures to keep me alive. Nothing invasive or painful. It’s all comfort from here.

I will be okay for now. I’m sorry for being dramatic lol