Fun updates from today, at least for me:

Fun updates from today, at least for me:

- The biggest thing is that I met a goal I have wanted to meet for YEARS: I thought that, for sure, even though I was weighing 296.1 at home this morning, the scales at my PCP and onco's offices would be in the 300s. They WEREN'T!! 298 at pcp this morning, 297 at oncologist in the afternoon!!

- Both doctors were stoooked with my progress. PCP asked how I have had such success, and said I am looking good these days. Onco said that he can tell who is going to make it, and that I have "already won". He said he can tell my head is truly in the game now, and said to imagine how good 250 will feel.

- My highest weight had been 403, but 391 by the time I first came to my onco with endometrial cancer. I remember going in for my hysterectomy and having to choose my weight on a chart that went up to like 350 or 390..and realizing I was legit OFF THE CHARTS morbidly obese. He had told me back then, "imagine how good even 50 lbs weight loss would feel". I said BET, and lost 107!! Sometimes just having that VISUAL helps soo much.

- PCP ordered labs, gave me a mammogram referral, colonoscopy referral, said she may prescribe me a semiglutide for my diabetes, depending on my labs. I have avoided Ozempic/Wegovy/etc because I want to lose weight on my own merit, taking my licks, correcting my behavior, and learning my lessons on the way down. I also don't want rapid weight loss/Ozempic face/as much hanging skin. BUT: Ozempic can help with stroke and heart attack risk, improve non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) by SIXTY PERCENT, and improve A1C with a SIDE EFFECT of weight loss/clearing the "food noise". Cool to have the option at only like $25 a month, should I choose to go that route.

*And just to be clear: people who take the bariatric path are not "just taking the easy route", and this post is not meant to imply such! There are costs, diets, examinations, and self discipline involved in those routes as well!! There is just something in me screaming, "You are not going to put GMO's in my food, give me horribly misleading food guide pyramids growing up, muddy the waters of diet culture for profit, fatten me up for the kill, then take part of my intestine!!" Just my personal take and who knows..this could change.*

- I have a fibroscan coming up next Tuesday to check on my NAFLD. The first time I went, I was in the "severe" classification for scarification. This was SUPER dangerous. 2nd time I went, I had lost like 67 lbs and was already down to "moderate". I hope to be down further next Tuesday! If not, Ozempic could be a tool to help. Surprising them with nearly double the weight loss will be fun as heckkkk.

- Every time I go to the onco, I have to fill out a little chart about my worries/depression/anxiety, etc. They were so concerned before, bc I used to fill it to the highest level, and choose the option that I was depressed and anxious every day of the week. Today was the first time I put myself as a 4, and explained that it is just anxiety over house repairs. Otherwise, I am feeling happier overall (aside from political stuff), more connected with others, more clear-headed, etc.

- I told my onco about the water heater situation and jokingly told him not to charge me for today's visit. He secretly told the front desk not to charge me!! They said I wouldn't have had a copay today anyway, but that they will get with the biller and tell them not to even charge me the coinsurance! I damn near cried. Money is tight, and that was so deeply kind.

- I am very transparent with my doctors; not to trauma-dumping EXCESS, but I have explained that a lot of my weight gain was due to my attempt at soft sui due to SA's, and that I had been subconsciously afraid to get closer to the weight I had been when I was first SA'ed. Today my onco said that he can see that my mental has improved and he believed my weight loss will stick this time. I had been at 392, lost 86 lbs, gained back to 403, and am now down 107 lbs.

- Sadly today was my last visit with my onco, as he has accepted a promotion to manage 170 doctors. He told me some of them are "psycho, i mean..high maintenance" lol. He said he still wants to hear about my progress through my new onco's nurses though. It was bittersweet, because this is the man who gave me my life-saving hysterectomy!! He said that it was actually a GOOD thing that my cancer followed normal indicators, and that it is when people come in with seemingly RANDOM cancers that they are in the most danger.

- I got into my car with such lifted spirits, having met goals today that I have dreamed of for a decade. I turned on "Help I'm Alive" by Metric, and all these amazing songs played automatically after, in this order:

"Disparate Youth" by Santigold
"Heads Will Roll" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Charm Attack" by Leona Naess
"My Number" by Foals
"Wolf Like Me" by TV on the Radio
"Back to Friends" by Sombr

- I would normally have said, "I am near Greek food, and when will I be out here again..and when can I celebrate such success again..yada yada"..but I resisted ALL food temptation on the way to, and from, my appts today.

- Today marks my 4th year in remission. After just 2 more 6 month check-ups, I will reach my 5th year and be declared cancer free! This means I can give plasma, which will help me with like $420 a month, and keep me unreliant on roommates.

- I am down 14 inches around my waist alone, having originally been bigger around than I am TALL.

Other than that, I had some just..lovely..interactions with strangers today. I think they could sense how upbeat I have been, and it is magnetic. As always, thank you all, So Much, for your support over the years. I couldn't have gotten by without a LOT of help from my friends. Not giving up, long way to go...but honestly, I could die happy that I have met many of my life goals already. 🩷🩷🩷


I never got to cirrhosis, thanks be to God!!! So I think that what they called "severe" might have been "significant". Will ask when I go back in!