Negativity Is Like The Sea

…it can only sink your ship, if you let it in.

After several years of significant chronic lower back pain, I was determined to do something about it in the Spring of 2024. I’m currently rehabilitated with a few flare-ups from time to time and some dull nagging pain. I started lifting again 3 weeks ago, this time with joint health as the number one priority and muscle growth coming in second. At that time, I was resolved to dial in my nutrition and sleep as well. I designed a grazing meal plan to meet my macronutrient targets and it’s going great. I did a sleep test and went on a CPAP to remedy my sleep apnea.

I haven’t felt this high and light on my feet since my mid-30’s.

There’s an unexpected cost. My family thinks I’m starving myself. My extended family says sacrificing food and alcohol isn’t sustainable and I’m headed for disaster. Friends and coworkers have told me there’s not a chance they’d walk this path. I have not one person in my corner, cheering me on.

It’s pretty crappy of me to drop in, puke up these life events and bail for a while, I know, but it doesn’t seem to be good news, outside of the anonymous crowd of SW.

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BillyMack · 46-50, M

I’ve come to realize that for some people, especially those who don’t want to cheer you on, they’re more reflecting on themselves and think you’re making them look bad.

It’s the older parents who think eating is about fellowship so the types of food don’t matter and shouldn’t be about eating to be healthy.

It’s the friendships that are surprised when you cut back on your drinking, or stop altogether, because it’s about having fun and not about trying to be a better you.

It’s the spouse that worries you’ll leave them behind because you’re losing weight, getting fitter and doing things they don’t want.

You’re doing what you think is best for you. And it sounds like you’re doing better than they are. So props to you. Hope you continue to grow and improve in the ways you want.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@BillyMack I legit needed to hear that. I won’t from folks that know me, but I do get the sense that the extended family thinks my improving will make them look bad and that’s really their only concern.

I do find it odd that no one seemed concerned when my diet, drinking and lack of sleep were on the path to killing me. But they are tuned in when it comes to taking better care of myself

BillyMack · 46-50, M

@FeelingItAll sadly all those things I mentioned I’ve experienced first hand. So I get it. Just keep on pushing.

PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

The mindset makes sense now.

But dang, I’m sorry you’ve been hit with that kind of negativity. I’m proud of you for getting back into it. But doing so will require some sacrifice. I wish others could see that better.

At the end of the day, they have to trust that you’re going to do right by yourself. You’re not going to harm it or impede any progress that’ll bring your the betterment you desire. I think that trust will come with time and seeing how this chapter makes you feel better about yourself.

Give it time. Give them time. They still care about you. Sometimes people have a funny way of showing it though.

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FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart I chuckled. I’m sure that’s the case, but I’m not sure why. I’m at a point in my life, where I’m full throttle to my goal of being debt free in a couple of years. I’ve put my social life on hold and I’ve got tunnel vision. I have no intention of letting up until I’m there. I just didn’t want my body to die, getting there

PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

@FeelingItAll Some people like the comfort in familiarity, and that can include their partner being very settled into the body they already have, especially if their self-esteem isn’t as solid as it should be. They’ll easily see it as their partner wanting to have that glow up to leave them behind because of the possibilities that lie out there when someone is living their best life on the inside and out. Again, very well might not be the case at all but I’ve seen it happen time and time again.

So love this new chapter for you though. You’re gonna smoke us all if you keep your eye on that beautiful prize you’ve created for yourself.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart That’s quite possibly it. We’re still adjusting to cutting back on drinking. We were totally dry for 5 weeks and now just drink a little on Saturdays.

Now, I’ve gone from group fitness 3 times a week, to twice a week with 4 mornings in the gym.

When I cut sugars and processed foods, I think that’s where she drew the line with how much change she was willing to accept within a very short amount of time

4meAndyou · F

YOU feel wonderful because of the plan YOU are following, and because of your own dedication to it.

I would like to ask your family and your extended family to keep stuffing themselves with food and alcohol, and check back with you in five years so you can ask them how THEY feel!

Friends who are not supportive are not friends, and co-workers...well...they always seem to WANT us to fail.

YOU and your doctor KNOW what is good for you, so I would ignore the nasty people and keep on keeping on! You are on the right path!

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@4meAndyou That’s an excellent point. I was already disgusted with how far I’ve let myself go. Then, I had two back-to-back doctors appointments, where the doctor told me I was too overweight. I always have been, but I’ve always tried to keep my body fat around 12-15% to keep my strength in the gym , but I’m twice that right now

4meAndyou · F

@FeelingItAll Throw the word "Doctor", and the phrase, "My doctor says..." in the faces of all the people who are giving you a hard time. That OUGHT to shut them up quickly.

Thinkerbell · 41-45, F

Don't let the naysayers bother you.

If it's working for you, keep it up.

YOU are the one who benefits.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@Thinkerbell 💞 This is why I need to be on SW more often. I need more of filks like you in my life, Think

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