Negativity Is Like The Sea

…it can only sink your ship, if you let it in.

After several years of significant chronic lower back pain, I was determined to do something about it in the Spring of 2024. I’m currently rehabilitated with a few flare-ups from time to time and some dull nagging pain. I started lifting again 3 weeks ago, this time with joint health as the number one priority and muscle growth coming in second. At that time, I was resolved to dial in my nutrition and sleep as well. I designed a grazing meal plan to meet my macronutrient targets and it’s going great. I did a sleep test and went on a CPAP to remedy my sleep apnea.

I haven’t felt this high and light on my feet since my mid-30’s.

There’s an unexpected cost. My family thinks I’m starving myself. My extended family says sacrificing food and alcohol isn’t sustainable and I’m headed for disaster. Friends and coworkers have told me there’s not a chance they’d walk this path. I have not one person in my corner, cheering me on.

It’s pretty crappy of me to drop in, puke up these life events and bail for a while, I know, but it doesn’t seem to be good news, outside of the anonymous crowd of SW.

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PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

The mindset makes sense now.

But dang, I’m sorry you’ve been hit with that kind of negativity. I’m proud of you for getting back into it. But doing so will require some sacrifice. I wish others could see that better.

At the end of the day, they have to trust that you’re going to do right by yourself. You’re not going to harm it or impede any progress that’ll bring your the betterment you desire. I think that trust will come with time and seeing how this chapter makes you feel better about yourself.

Give it time. Give them time. They still care about you. Sometimes people have a funny way of showing it though.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart Yeah. I have to keep a caloric deficit to make any progress. I think everyone just got used to me eating whatever whenever and drinking a 12-pack every night.

I’m already seeing progress; not losing weight, but leaning out quite a bit. My wife’s noticed, but she’s concerned

PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

@FeelingItAll Definitely a change that needed to be made then.

I don’t understand the concern though. I can’t see how you improving yourself is a threat to…oooooh. Surely it’s not a self-esteem thing for her. My mind went there for a second but I doubt that’s the case. Just trying to make sense of it I guess.

No matter what, you’re doing awesome. Keep doing you and hold your head high as you do so. You deserve nothing less.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart I chuckled. I’m sure that’s the case, but I’m not sure why. I’m at a point in my life, where I’m full throttle to my goal of being debt free in a couple of years. I’ve put my social life on hold and I’ve got tunnel vision. I have no intention of letting up until I’m there. I just didn’t want my body to die, getting there

PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

@FeelingItAll Some people like the comfort in familiarity, and that can include their partner being very settled into the body they already have, especially if their self-esteem isn’t as solid as it should be. They’ll easily see it as their partner wanting to have that glow up to leave them behind because of the possibilities that lie out there when someone is living their best life on the inside and out. Again, very well might not be the case at all but I’ve seen it happen time and time again.

So love this new chapter for you though. You’re gonna smoke us all if you keep your eye on that beautiful prize you’ve created for yourself.

FeelingItAll · 41-45, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart That’s quite possibly it. We’re still adjusting to cutting back on drinking. We were totally dry for 5 weeks and now just drink a little on Saturdays.

Now, I’ve gone from group fitness 3 times a week, to twice a week with 4 mornings in the gym.

When I cut sugars and processed foods, I think that’s where she drew the line with how much change she was willing to accept within a very short amount of time