Did anyone else have a terrible experience with therapy?

You can't really experience EMDR without therapy. Other practices like acupuncture, massage, mindful meditation can all be helpful in alleviating symptoms, but they're not a cure. They don't treat the root of a problem.

The only thing that does that is a shift in thinking and that can be hard to bring about on your own. Talk therapy, or CBT, is considered the gold standard of mental health therapy. There're several reasons possible why it's not working for you. You may not be open to it yet, whether or not you think you are. You may not be willing to face some truth, which is the case with many of us. Or maybe you just have run into the wrong therapists. The number one determining factor in success when working with a therapist is the interpersonal relationship they form. Until you're comfortable and feel that space is safe and sacred, you're not going to open up. Keep looking. Keep searching. But keep in mind that the answers are all inside you.

If you try and still can't find a therapist, you may want to look into an outdoor course like Outward Bound or the similar for adults. Pushing oneself within a safe setting and using realistic boundaries to surprise yourself positively can also have a tremendous effect on a person. Good luck.

Mediation is distraction. And not in a bad sense. When you truly get involved with anything you are distracting yourself from everything else.

It also why there a "zen" for anything. For instance the zen of motorcycle riding. It's a total focus on your riding.

When you have learned to focus on just one thing and only that one thing that is a meditation state.

Your problem isn't likely the lack of ability of meditating. It's likely you don't have an interest that you are willing to totally focus on.

It's that focus on something you find interesting that is a meditation. Not the other way around.

Your ideal interest only you can determine. And when and if you do the meditation part will come automatically. No anxiety will happen because your focus is totally on that interest.

Meditation isn't for just everyone. Some people think differently. That is neither good nor bad. Maybe you can consider tai chi, or sufi whirling dervish.

You might try some alternative meditations. Walking meditation works for some people who find breath meditation not to their liking.

It is really difficult to find a therapist that is a good fit for you. I finally found a really really good one on my 4th try.

It's great that you are interested in exploring more ways you can help yourself, wish I had some things to suggest.

Actually, one thing I had once considered was Somatic therapy. Here's an article if you're interested

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-somatic-therapy-5190064

The number one thing to get rid of anxiety and depression is exercise. Running is fantastic, you can literally run away from your problems.

Absolutely.