Ever thought about giving up the alcohol?
It is a depressant after the initial high. The after affects can be melancholy and morbidity.
Believe me, I know. Extreme alcoholic for more than 30 years.
I decided one day that I would not drink ever again. Never had another drop. That was 23 years ago.
Best decision I ever made. Sure, it was hard to begin with. Having to change my whole lifestyle, having to remove people from my life. Start afresh, clean slate.
I found new interests to occupy my time. Mostly goinf out into the Aussie bush, enjoying nature, watching the critters, photographing the birds and animals.
I would say I am content at this point in my life.
I never dwell on my past misdemeanors. Life can be great if we allow ourselves to experience that pleasure.