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How did we get here?

I was raised on polished boots and quiet sacrifice.

The daughter of a career Marine who taught me that discipline wasn’t a choice, it was a way of breathing.

Embrace the Suck.

For a long time, I thought my path was already written: enlist, serve, carry forward the same unspoken code.

It.. was in me.

But then I met Kurtz.

Not the man himself, but the idea of him...the unraveling.

The slow drift from order into something far more human and far more dangerous.

Watching Apocalypse Now, I realized war doesn’t just test strength; it reveals the fragile architecture of the mind.

It asks questions discipline alone can’t answer.

So I changed course....

I traded uniforms for textbooks, commands for conversations.

I still serve but now I sit across from the battles no one salutes.

The quiet ones.

The ones that follow people home.

My father taught me how to stand firm in chaos.

Kurtz taught me why some people can’t.

And somewhere between the two, I found my calling.

🩷
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romell · 51-55, M
Very well articulated
4meAndyou · F
You chose the harder path, I sometimes think. It's easier to let go of your mind and live by commands and rules and inner grit, because your steps are drawn for you. You ALWAYS feel right inside when you obey.

YOUR path had to be FOUND. The rightness was a puzzle that had to be worked.

YOURS was the harder path.
Punxi · F
@4meAndyou 🙂🫂
Livingwell · 61-69, M
You rock. Thank you!
exexec · 70-79, C
Interesting!
Degbeme · 70-79, M
Much respect my dear. 💜
BillyMack · 46-50, M
Very deep. And that such a good way to frame how you serve.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Everyone changes. And that's a good thing.
Levenrack · 46-50, M
Word(s)!

You definitely go places, I'll never even know were in existence.

Where can I subscribe? 👀
Punxi · F
@Levenrack Right Now....all that matters Sir Lev. And currently you and I are in the paint..
BooksRMe · 46-50, M
You're like a combination of Dexter and Rambo that can write like Hemingway or Josef Conrad. ☺✌
Punxi · F
@BooksRMe Damn! 🤣
BooksRMe · 46-50, M
@Punxi Way better looking though ☺
My understanding is that Apocalypse Now is based on Joseph Conrad's novel Heart of Darkness. Have you read it, and if so what do you think?

Punxi · F
@ElwoodBlues More than once....

Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness didn’t just inspire Apocalypse Now, it kinda exposed the same quiet truth in a different jungle: that the further we travel outward in conquest, the deeper we collapse inward.

Thats the madness that captured my heart.

Kurtz is not found at the end of the river, but at the edge of the self....where civilization thins and the human soul finally tells the truth.
@Punxi Thanks! I read the book in college decades ago, when I was much less mature. At the time I was not able to draw from it the generalization that you did about conquest and what it does to the self. Thank you!!
That’s such a powerful shift, from discipline to understanding. Not everyone has the courage to walk that path.
Beautifully expressed.

In the course of life, we realize our calling as we courageously answer questions that no one else can answer for us.

Who do I want to be? How can I matter to the world/family I care about?

Wishing you the best as you serve in the best way you know how.
romell · 51-55, M
Why are orders given in forces ?? Because you don't want anyone to think but act
4meAndyou · F
@romell Exactly. My father was a Bird Colonel in the army, and it is CRUCIAL for soldiers to jump and obey without THINKING. THINKING would make them hesitate.

 
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