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Is this really annoying or am I being a little mean here?

I go to Indian restaurants with my colleagues where food is shared, so not separate meals. My colleague keeps putting food in my plate and insists on me to try certain things, and this attitude just gets on my nerves, because it becomes too much insisting and I am like just want to eat quietly and if I want something I will try it.... I realise it is a caring attitude but it can get too annoying but it makes me feel mean later on!

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Newandimproved · 61-69, M

I also hate it when somebody tells me that i am going to love something

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

lol

Fernie · F

something tells me you have not expressed these feelings to the person

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Fernie · F

@UnhatchedEgg: I have to say this...for YOU...that is a cowardly, passive aggressive, way to deal with it. Maybe some of your anger is caused by you not being able to speak any unpleasant truth...therefore it just stays there.Say what has to be said to that person....you can then let it go

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

@Fernie: I may act passive aggressive sometimes, not because I am a coward, I do as such only in situations when I don't want to hurt someone or when it is a close friend. If someone has really done me wrong, I am actually quite aggressive usually and not passive at all

Fernie · F

@UnhatchedEgg: Sorry then. This is a subject that is kind of a thing with me. I don't understand why people allow others to have so much control...they can do whatever they please and some people won't tell them to please stop, even though they really WANT them to stop, don't want to hurt their feelings, etc. .. so they continue to annoy...makes no sense to me...but that's just me

SW-User

In India it is hospitable to do this, but it is annoying at times. If someone keeps doing that I say that I will take it myself, then they stop.

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

We are not in India though and he is not Indian lol

SW-User

I supposed so as you said Indian restaurant lol, telling someone usually works

KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M

Some people have different ideas of where boundaries should be than others. If you just ask him to "slow down please" or something like that, how does he react?

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

Not sure, I should though

firefall · 61-69, M

No, it's not a caring attitude if he is doing this so much, it's about controlling you and expressing superiority for him (probably unconsciously). Don't feel mean about rejecting it.

annamarie65 · 56-60, F

why havent you told him how y ou feel?

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annamarie65 · 56-60, F

@UnhatchedEgg: be yourself...be gentle but firm.

annamarie65 · 56-60, F

If you dont tell the person honestly that it bothers you, they will just keep doing it, and you will end up being resentful

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

@annamarie65: I do end up as such O.o! I guess I need to learn how to speak out.

Aperson · M

Tell him gently.

juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F

Haha

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

You should stop thinking of yourself mate, try to be something you aren't for a while, you'll enjoy it instead of creating a stupid awkward situation like that...

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annamarie65 · 56-60, F

@MartinTheFirst: so you are saying she should just accept the behaviour even tho it bothers her...i totally disagree...thats a good way to make working together more inhospitable and possibly bearing hard feelings towards each other. if she had gone to his country or his home, thats another story, but in a restaurant, in this country, its just impolite.

UnhatchedEgg · 31-35, F

@annamarie65: I agree with you! It is still an annoying habit!

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

@annamarie65: Yeah she should, tbh.

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