Absolutely. The people in our lives shape us, teach us and leave their impression on us. As broken as relationships might be, there are still good memories, moments of positive reelection and the absence of that person in you world. Sometimes that feels like a conflict.

Grieving the loss of one with whom we've had complicated and damaging relations with is one of the more nuanced and complex lessons we have to learn, I think. Things like forgiveness, release, accountability, reflection, inventory and emotional release are all wrapped up in it.

As is the confusing, frustrating and hurtful realization that on some level you want to miss the person and you do miss the person, even if it's because hope of better days is finally laid to rest.

The only things I've found help are 1) time: we continue to evolve and learn, we continue to see the world in broadening perspective, and we often choose eventually to let go of the negative and make the conscious decision to embrace the good. And 2) gentleness with oneself - the emotions that come to you do so naturally. Honor each one, embrace each one...and then release it the the Universe. You might be amazed at how well you're able to transform yourself into someone you really like and respect while keeping all the parts of your life and love intact.

Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss; may the Universe hold you gently in its hands.

My whole family on my dads side abandoned me basically after he died. But I'm sure it will still affect me if they die. If I'm even informed.

I can't say I was unaffected by the deaths of my parents. I had no particular affection for my father, and honestly didn't particularly care all that much when he died. Likewise, I didn't care all that much for my mother, but I had to deal with her more because I was responsible for her care for the last decade or so of her life. In many ways, her death was a relief, as it was becoming more and more difficult managing her needs as she aged.

Even so, their deaths did affect me, and I sometimes consider how who I have become was influenced, even controlled, by who they were.

I'll let you know when my father passes!

I'm glad I am in good terms with them now but definitely would devastate me.

I have been hurt repeatedly by my toxic mother, and haven't had contact with her in 2 years.

But I know I will still grieve for her when she dies.

Depends. When my mom died, I grieved. It feels like the end of the world. She was not perfect but she all I had. She comfort me when I need her the most.

But when my grandma died, I feel nothing. I never closed to her actually but she badmouth my mom too much even after she died.

I’ll probably feel that way about my older brother. Our relationship is kind of tough.

Yes, death is strange. However I don’t gloss over the things that they did like other family members often do.

Yes, my mother.

No, felt nothing at all of his death except he got off easy and disserved far worse

When my mom passes I will feel this way. You absolutely have a right to grieve 💞