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Absolutely. The people in our lives shape us, teach us and leave their impression on us. As broken as relationships might be, there are still good memories, moments of positive reelection and the absence of that person in you world. Sometimes that feels like a conflict.
Grieving the loss of one with whom we've had complicated and damaging relations with is one of the more nuanced and complex lessons we have to learn, I think. Things like forgiveness, release, accountability, reflection, inventory and emotional release are all wrapped up in it.
As is the confusing, frustrating and hurtful realization that on some level you want to miss the person and you do miss the person, even if it's because hope of better days is finally laid to rest.
The only things I've found help are 1) time: we continue to evolve and learn, we continue to see the world in broadening perspective, and we often choose eventually to let go of the negative and make the conscious decision to embrace the good. And 2) gentleness with oneself - the emotions that come to you do so naturally. Honor each one, embrace each one...and then release it the the Universe. You might be amazed at how well you're able to transform yourself into someone you really like and respect while keeping all the parts of your life and love intact.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss; may the Universe hold you gently in its hands.
Grieving the loss of one with whom we've had complicated and damaging relations with is one of the more nuanced and complex lessons we have to learn, I think. Things like forgiveness, release, accountability, reflection, inventory and emotional release are all wrapped up in it.
As is the confusing, frustrating and hurtful realization that on some level you want to miss the person and you do miss the person, even if it's because hope of better days is finally laid to rest.
The only things I've found help are 1) time: we continue to evolve and learn, we continue to see the world in broadening perspective, and we often choose eventually to let go of the negative and make the conscious decision to embrace the good. And 2) gentleness with oneself - the emotions that come to you do so naturally. Honor each one, embrace each one...and then release it the the Universe. You might be amazed at how well you're able to transform yourself into someone you really like and respect while keeping all the parts of your life and love intact.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss; may the Universe hold you gently in its hands.