REInvNJ · 61-69, M
In my experience people live up or down to your expectations more often than not.
If you expect people to treat you well they often do if you expect them to treat you badly they almost always do
If you expect people to treat you well they often do if you expect them to treat you badly they almost always do
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@REInvNJ hmm I didn't have an expectation, which is why I tried to have clear communication but he had issues and other ideas.

SW-User
I don't think anyone else can answer that as each of us are different. It takes me a very long time to get over someone I genuinely love, I am not able to move on quickly but some people it's very quick. My only advice is sometimes it's okay to allow yourself to feel lost or sad, but try and redirect or distract yourself when it gets really heavy ((hugs))
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@SW-User thank you. This is probably the longest time I've ever been single since I started dating. And the only time I have had no friends.
So it's a double wammy really.
I tried to reinvent my life by going to university but I have been unable to make worth while connections. 😒
I'm still breathing and that's my focus. Just getting on with what I can
So it's a double wammy really.
I tried to reinvent my life by going to university but I have been unable to make worth while connections. 😒
I'm still breathing and that's my focus. Just getting on with what I can

SW-User
@Mellowgirl I can relate, it's so very hard going through a heartbreak with no friends or family to help you through. Be sure to focus on your needs and wants right now. Be extra kind to yourself.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@SW-User thank you x
REInvNJ · 61-69, M
There are a million factors. Some, like who broke up with who, how much you still like him, and how long you've been going out are things that you have very little control over.
Other things like how much time you spend with other friends, and how much time we spend working on yourself, or basically how much time you spend being kind to yourself are things you can greatly change for thehetter
My advice is change the things you can and accept the things you can'
Other things like how much time you spend with other friends, and how much time we spend working on yourself, or basically how much time you spend being kind to yourself are things you can greatly change for thehetter
My advice is change the things you can and accept the things you can'
Limeinthecoconut · 46-50, F
I’m in this spot right now... for me it’s both. Genuine longing and the gaping hole that constantly reminds me he is gone.
mikeylyksit · 41-45, M
It depends. How did you feel about your ex? I still want my ex from 1983. Yeah, I'm older than dirt. Probably older than my profile says. You sadly don't stop wanting your ex unless you were never in love with your ex. But if you were never in love with your ex, then why were the two of you you involved at all, at any time in the past?
True love never dies. If you stop wanting someone, then you were never in love with that specific person. The pain diminishes, but not the desire. It turns into more of a regret. Like you aren't sad anymore, you just keep wondering what if...
True love never dies. If you stop wanting someone, then you were never in love with that specific person. The pain diminishes, but not the desire. It turns into more of a regret. Like you aren't sad anymore, you just keep wondering what if...
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
The quickest way to get over a man, is to get under another one pronto!
You're welcome hun.
✌️🍷
You're welcome hun.
✌️🍷
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Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@Mellowgirl Just a thought.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Harriet03 I know but covid isn't really the get under someone time.
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@Mellowgirl Good point 🤔

SW-User
Depends on how long you were together...depends on lots of things ...like everything else it takes time to heal...time and distractions
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@SW-User 2009.
I'm trying not to think about him but something happens mostly good and it dawns on me that he's not here.
I'm trying not to think about him but something happens mostly good and it dawns on me that he's not here.

SW-User
@Mellowgirl I'm sorry...that's rough ...allow yourself time to grieve but try not to sit too long in it ...try to keep busy too ...do things that bring you joy ...even small things ...it will take time but you will get through this
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
Keep yourself busy. Make yourself believe that they hate you.
If you feel the mildest attraction, you'll be drawn towards them. If you have to go cold turkey then you need to work on it.
If you feel the mildest attraction, you'll be drawn towards them. If you have to go cold turkey then you need to work on it.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Beatbox34 thank you for your kindness. X
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Mellowgirl Your welcome buddy. Just remember. Nothing lasts forever and neither will this pain.

SW-User
He sent me a really weird message. Called.
And emailed pretending to be some girl.
He ruined my 30th birthday.
I hate that he did that.
But I know his stupid immature mind was trying to get back at me.
He was messing me around. With the mind games and I just couldn't take it when I was trying to grieve.
I should only feel anger but I actually feel sorry that he needed to do that.
@Mellowgirl aw this is awful, seriously red flags right there 🚩 you deserve better! It’s hard moving and but know it’s for the best. 😞And emailed pretending to be some girl.
He ruined my 30th birthday.
I hate that he did that.
But I know his stupid immature mind was trying to get back at me.
He was messing me around. With the mind games and I just couldn't take it when I was trying to grieve.
I should only feel anger but I actually feel sorry that he needed to do that.
For you, my friend. 🖤
[media=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk&vidve=5727&autoplay=1]
The answer is always time… your time. Please be patient with you… she’s still healing. 🖤🖤🖤
[media=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk&vidve=5727&autoplay=1]
The answer is always time… your time. Please be patient with you… she’s still healing. 🖤🖤🖤
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
It took me a few years, it's different for everyone.
mikeylyksit · 41-45, M
I forgot to add the rule of thumb. That is, it will take about 1/3rd as much time for you to get over the loss of a love, as the two of you were together. If you two broke up recently, that means you will be ready to start dating again around 2025 roughly? Don't kill the messenger...
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Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
See if you can find someone else to chat too, it might help🤔
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
@Mellowgirl Feelings are sometimes something we can not control unfortunately, you can always come on here and interact with the nice people on here, it has helped me before😊
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Justenjoyit thank you for being here with me today. X
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
@MellowgirlNo problems, I just post funny things mostly, but I also do like helping others where I can,and people help me on here too😊
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
3 years, 30 days, 3 hours and 3 seconds