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victim mentality is so toxic because if you truly believe you are a victim that suggests that

your circumstances are out of your control, therefore the ability to change your situation is perceived to be out of your control and it's someone else's fault. which isn't actually even true
theAlchemist · 56-60, M Best Comment
Victim mentality is for weaklings and cowards.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@1165664,theUnDeforestedMind] and lazy people.......... people who don't want to make proactive changes in their lives even be it for betterment
theAlchemist · 56-60, M
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] Thanks for B.C. Proactive changes require WORK and genuinely honest self awareness. Those with victim mentality often lack the self awareness and are too lazy and fearful to do the work.

pattycakechamp · 26-30, F
The victim card is easy to play and makes people give up all responsibility. Why change what you're doing wrong when you can blame everyone else? Especially now, when we live in a time where all you have to do is keep complaining to get your desires made into law.
pattycakechamp · 26-30, F
[@1204467,xuxuguinhu9] That's fine, you enjoy your time here, I'll enjoy mine. As long as you understand that no, not everything is someone else's fault.
xuxuguinhu9 · 31-35, T
[@1195228,pattycakechamp] but somethings are. you just didnt have those experiences in your life.
MiserableAtBest · 18-21, F
I think that at one point or another I thought this way as well.

Which is why I refrain from judging others who have experienced trauma and struggle with this mentality. It took me a lot of trial and error to finally accept help, I nearly destroyed my life beyond repair while at it. I assumed everyone was going to abuse me and take advantage of me, I expected the worst because of past experiences, and I put myself in a position where I was unable to feel joy and love in my own life.

And I must reinforce the fact that those feelings are completely VALID, and it takes a lot of work to break the cycle of continuous negativity, but it is absolutely necessary to break it in order to live a healthy and happy life. In that sense I agree with you 110%, but I do think it is important to acknowledge how difficult it is to break such a cycle, which is why we can’t put a time stamp on healing, because it’s a journey that vastly differs for everyone.
TheArbitrator · 31-35, M
These days - victims are celebrated. They're called heroes/survivors. Ergo, it's much easier to become a victim than it is to put in the hard work and accomplish your goals.

Often times, people will claim no one ever helped them or warned them about their situation, when in fact, they were warned but they choose to ignore their parents/loved ones. Then they claim no one had ever cared for them - sad story after sad story 😭. Life isn't easy but hey, we have to make good decisions and we have to deal with our failures when we don't.
Yep. It's taking no responsibility. It's too easy to call others bullies instead.
Eternity · 22-25, M
Right! And sometimes you can't even tell someone with a victim mentality this or else you're "victim blaming".

It really is a vicious cycle.
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
That is oversimplifying things. There are many circumstances outside of our control that we can do nothing about. People are victimized regularly by other people and have no method to put a positive spin on it or otherwise change their circumstances.

Many people believe they are in that camp when they are not, but we cannot allow those crying wolf in attempt at redress to disguise the fact that we have broad areas of society that victimize others or protect the ones who do victimize others.
mrlopez · 26-30, M
what made get to where i am now, i had to stop being a victim and start being a survivor
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@1161949,mrlopez] when life knocks you down why stay down when you can get up?
mrlopez · 26-30, M
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] exactly! once you hit rock bottom, you only have one direction and that is up
Victimhood is pretty powerful and a pretty lousy way to define yourself, instead of something more powerful, like as an achiever
Shiki ·
It's definitely not a good way to live.
Peapod · 56-60, F
I had family like this. Seriously, it's a very toxic place.

Luckily for me, this is not my thinking at all and I have learned to run from people like this.
xuxuguinhu9 · 31-35, T
erm cant we all agree that we cant control the world..?
🤔 guess there is some truth in this

 
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