Why do people cheat? Why dont they just break up with their spouse if theyre just gonna cheat

@Stuturp True. But I do see people who are refused sex and intimacy and who stray because they DO have needs that must be met. I lived in what was considered a sexless union for 3 decades. It costs one severely to put one's needs and desires on a back burner and to remain monogamous or celibate with a person who neither loves you or cares about you.

I am sorry that yours cheated. It reflects upon his worth and certainly NOT on yours.

@PoetryNEmotion thank you, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

@Stuturp The real problem was that I tried to fix something that couldn't be fixed. He didn't care to be real about his sexuality. How many gay people get involved with straight people merely because society expects each man and each woman to find a mate of the opposite sex and to have chidren? If a person cannot accept who he or she is, they should just not get involved with anyone. Be authentic or be alone. That is what I say. Do not waste the time of others. Do not hurt your partners and your kids. Be adult. Be loving. Stop the shit.

@SW-User “...those they still love...” which could easily just mean their children and other family members.

I agree that communication should be shared, especially when it gets to that stage where one is considering an affair, but what you fail to realize is that many people do in fact love the person they end end up betraying. There’s something there that can still connect them to having loving feelings for them, but when it comes down to it they allow their bodies and deep down desires win the fight. The power of both can drown out the strength of the connection still there that kept them focused and driven to make it work if someone allows it to. Every single situation concerning such a thing is unique, but the one thing that is most certainly shared is the pain that’s felt by at least one of those involved.

@PerfectionOfTheHeart Yet they do not "love" their spouses nor their children in the true sense of the word. They just want sex. It is important. It is similar to drug addicts wanting drugs. They do not care. They just want their addictions fed. Cheaters are the same.

@PerfectionOfTheHeart No. That isn't love. If you love someone you don't treat them like that. Full stop. They're cowards and users.

@Straylight Absolutely.

@Starcrossed I hasten to add...A person must depend upon himself or herself to break the cycle of abuse. People who are "broken" cannot expect others to do the hard work for them. Unrealistic. These people often have poor relationships. Rarely can they find someone who can struggle along with them and love them too. Takes counseling. Group sessions. And a fierce ability to WANT to be whole again. To WANT to thrive. To WANT to live healthily. I do value your words.

@Starcrossed Feeling 'loved' usually through emotionally manipulating the sucker that falls for their lies.

Being honest with your partner is not breaking up, it is giving your partner the opportunity to do so

@SW-User Absolutely.

@PoetryNEmotion I know alot more than you cause obviously you have a closed mind and only look at one side preferably yours, just cause you went thru a bad experience don't mean that everyone's the same, there's always a reason why someone cheats on their spouse just like there's a reason why it happened to you if it did, what happens afterwards and how they deal with it is a whole different matter, just because you don't agree with it or it's not right for you doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.

@spice1 LOL no I'm judging you. You can only see one side. Yours. There is no justification, only cowardice and selfishness

It isn't an accident that just happens. It is a decision, and usually a planned one

@spice1 I see yoyr mouth is bitter and coarse. People make excuses. They stay for fear and for dead security. Do not speak to me rudely. Go away. Think of your tongue. Bye.