Is this a type of addiction / obsession or something else ( name it ) ?

At my most agnostic stage about a decade ago - and I was very agnostic... there were several things that I couldn't quite shake:
* That I believed in the [i]nature[/i] of god, even if he didn't exist. I believe in love, justice, grace, kindness to the most vulnerable and a way back for the most despicable. I continued to affirm the IDEA of god even if he didn't exist. Because it barely exists in man.
* That of all the people in history, something about Jesus resonated - along with people who followed his principles like Gandhi, Martin Luther King... Somehow we recognise the beauty of that... He's the most outstanding human being for me.
* The historicity of the account of his death and resurrection, and forget the armchair commentators, I know this stuff - as an historical record it's very solid. Whether you believe it or not is a different question. Garden of eden? It's a mythical story told in mythical form (still contains interesting insights, though.)
* That nothing we've discovered in science contradicts the possibility of god.

But none of that alone convinced me to believe again. That was something else...

God is something personal, and should be peaceful. Do you think of what people say about God? Or what the New Testament says about God? Maybe you are stressing over what you think other people think and say— taking a break from people’s opinions and letting go of what you think other people may think... is a GREAT ideA

Yes father God our savior very real, just recently I was home sick and not doing great,. Had cough meds that I was drowsy for many hours, well 505 am arrived and all a sudden I was wide awake. Yes it was my savior saying morning miachel. No one but God could do such a task. God works in strange ways to all his children.

When I read the Bible, I get this deep connection to it. I was brought up Christian and probably identify with being an atheist but there's something about the bible that resonate in me.

Are you making a distinction between religion and God?