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Is this a type of addiction / obsession or something else ( name it ) ?

I'm done with submitting to my religion ( Christianity ) and have no interest what so ever in other type, it's all the same anyway . That doesn't stop daily thoughts of God though, sometimes contemplations of Jesus and angles too .

Rarely but it has happened I'll wake up in the middle of my sleep with a deep feeling that I'm being told God is real . Pretty much when I think I have made progress and I'm not thinking of God as much the feeling that he is real becomes very loud .... I think

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Abstraction · 61-69, M

At my most agnostic stage about a decade ago - and I was very agnostic... there were several things that I couldn't quite shake:
* That I believed in the [i]nature[/i] of god, even if he didn't exist. I believe in love, justice, grace, kindness to the most vulnerable and a way back for the most despicable. I continued to affirm the IDEA of god even if he didn't exist. Because it barely exists in man.
* That of all the people in history, something about Jesus resonated - along with people who followed his principles like Gandhi, Martin Luther King... Somehow we recognise the beauty of that... He's the most outstanding human being for me.
* The historicity of the account of his death and resurrection, and forget the armchair commentators, I know this stuff - as an historical record it's very solid. Whether you believe it or not is a different question. Garden of eden? It's a mythical story told in mythical form (still contains interesting insights, though.)
* That nothing we've discovered in science contradicts the possibility of god.

But none of that alone convinced me to believe again. That was something else...

Pureblossom · 22-25, F

@Abstraction what was that then ? Too personal to share?