Tell me an refreshing statement that could earn you a black eye

Here are some I came up with:

Honey, You don't look as fat as you did yesterday

Your girlfriend came over over today and complained about small your dick is

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WizardofOz · 26-30, M Best Comment

This was one my girlfriend said to me! "I should have listened to my parents and dated your brother but you're better in bed, so I picked you". That girl is as witty as they come!

HumanEarth · 56-60, F

Perfect black eye right there

WizardofOz · 26-30, M

@HumanEarth lol...She said it because I told her a joke after she kept telling me she didn't wanna hear it.