(Family Friendly) Let's lighten up our day... shall we?
Poll - Total Votes: 39
1) ...is my favorite
2) ...is my favorite
3) ...is my favorite
4) ...is my favorite
5) ...is my favorite
6) ...is my favorite
7) They are all funny. Thank you for lightening my day!
8) Ho Hum - these are not funny ...signed E. Scrooge
You may vote on multiple answers.
1
A woman hailed a taxi from the airport. On their way downtown the driver raced through a red light. "Excuse me," she said, "but did you see that you just ran that light?"
Don't worry, I always do that," he explained. "My brother taught me to drive, and I learned that from him."
"Good heavens!" she gasped in a panic a few minutes later as the taxicab went flying full speed through a stop sign.
"Never mind - my brother always does that too," he said.
As they approached a green light, however, he came to a screeching halt. "Now why on earth did you stop for the green light, after running all the others? she asked.
"You never know," he said, shaking his head. "My brother might be coming."
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2
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine cards doused in French Perfume signed "Guess Who?"
She's a divorce lawyer.
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3
A magician was performing on an ocean liner but every time he did a trick, a talking cat in the audience would yowl, "It's not magic, you're a phony!"
When the ship sank , the magician and the cat landed in the same lifeboat. "Okay," said the cat with a sigh. "Enough's enough. What did you do with the ship?
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4
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good that he starting roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. THE MORAL: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut ~Will Rogers
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5
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works ~Will Rogers
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6
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A woman hailed a taxi from the airport. On their way downtown the driver raced through a red light. "Excuse me," she said, "but did you see that you just ran that light?"
Don't worry, I always do that," he explained. "My brother taught me to drive, and I learned that from him."
"Good heavens!" she gasped in a panic a few minutes later as the taxicab went flying full speed through a stop sign.
"Never mind - my brother always does that too," he said.
As they approached a green light, however, he came to a screeching halt. "Now why on earth did you stop for the green light, after running all the others? she asked.
"You never know," he said, shaking his head. "My brother might be coming."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
2
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine cards doused in French Perfume signed "Guess Who?"
She's a divorce lawyer.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
3
A magician was performing on an ocean liner but every time he did a trick, a talking cat in the audience would yowl, "It's not magic, you're a phony!"
When the ship sank , the magician and the cat landed in the same lifeboat. "Okay," said the cat with a sigh. "Enough's enough. What did you do with the ship?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
4
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good that he starting roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. THE MORAL: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut ~Will Rogers
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
5
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works ~Will Rogers
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
6
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
