I Love Jokes and I Love to Laugh

A panda goes into a restaurant and sits at a table.
A waiter promptly gives the panda a menu from which the panda orders his meal.
The waiter soon returns with the panda's food which the panda then consumes.

When the waiter returns to the panda, asking if there's anything else he would like,
the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. He then proceeds to get up from
his seat and leave the restaurant.

Horrified, the restaurant manager shouts, "Where are you going?" The panda replies,
"I'm a panda, I'm leaving." The manager proceeds with his heated inquiry." You come
into my restaurant, eat your meal, shoot my waiter, and then you're just going to leave?"
"Yes, I'm a panda! Look it up!!"

The restaurant manager then finds his dictionary and looks up the word "panda."
His findings are explanatory:

PAN·da  [pan-duh]
–noun
1. Also called giant panda. a white-and-black, bearlike mammal, Ailuropoda melanoleuca,
now rare and restricted to forest areas of central China containing stands of bamboo.
Eats chutes and leaves.

Did you see the magic tractor?


It went down the road, then turned into a field

And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life."
But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.

I was at the bank the other day when an old lady asked if I would check her balance, so I pushed her over...