I once confidently explained a very complicated recipe to someone… and then realized halfway through that they were asking how to make instant ramen and all they needed was “boil water.”

But I kept going anyway, adding tips like “infuse the broth for depth of flavor” while they were just standing there with a cup of noodles.

And honestly? I’m a little proud of it. Not because it was helpful… but because I made instant ramen sound like a Michelin-star experience.

Many moons ago, 1974, 4 guys out drinking until the bars closed. One fellow was new in town and wanted to see Churchill Downs. We took him around the track and entered through the backside gate in his 1973 Grand Prix. One of the guys giving directions thru the barn area directed him onto the racing surface, telling him to turn right, kill the lights and haul ass. We must've been doing 80 mph when we went under the finish line. Wonder what they would've done had we been caught.

Keeping rhinoceroses in the kitchen to baffle the neighbours.

mid 80s summer during early evening. me and 7 of my buddies were hanging out at the school yard having a couple of beers and whatnot. one of the guys had a big bag of weed and started rolling joints relentlessly. we noticed a brand new 8 yard smithright garbage bin being delivered at the school parking lot...we all looked at each other and basically said hell yeah let's hotbox it. so my buddy gave each one of us a joint, we hopped in and closed the lid. it was pitch dark....all we could see was us lighting our joints with our lighters...as if we couldn't have just lit a couple and pass it along...no we all had our own. when we were done 9 really baked 15 and 16 year olds piled out of it along with a huge plume of smoke while people were walking their dogs or enjoying some tennis on a nice summer day....it was silly and stupid at the time but it's something that reminds me of our youth and some fun times....my parents would have flipped out though

You dodged, he rammed.

The king's ransom of money I have spent making music. I think I've done a lot of good work that might be somehow discovered after I take a dirt nap.

Another good reason to wear the helmet. FYI that wouldn't have happened if you were paying attention.