I love sarcasm when asked dumb questions.. This gets Funny.

I called one of my best friends that had a 27-year long career in the Marine Corps in Forced Recon after leaving Army Special Forces, and we are both retired and timber farm owners in two different Ohio counties. He is three years older than me married and this plays into my story.

Anyway, yesterday he went out on his timber farm to inspect the property and to spray invasive tree and plant species with a topical killer. His farm is very steep and rugged so at the end of the day I just wanted to make sure he got home safe.

So, I call in the later evening to check on him calling him old man. He tells me all went well and took all day to do, that he was tired and sprayed himself down heavy with OFF for ticks and Chigers, and that some of the herbicide misted back on himself so he was going to shower and get all the chemicals off of himself. I said cool just checking on you before I head into the shower because I sprayed myself down with off too not to get ate up by the horse flies when I was out mowing. Ole John said, " you did, why did you do that, you must have a bad problem with those horse flies." Now John is a bible thumping born again Christian, and I ripped off what is known by folks that know me personally to be a "Billism".

I said, "Nope not at all John I just started dating this new woman that is into dressing up as a Sasquatch with breast tassels and waiting for me to pass her with the mower around the tree line, she busts from cover because the smell of sweat and the bug spray turns her on, and she tackles me and beats me unconscious with her tasseled Sqautch breast". There was a moment of silence and a retort of "you are a piece of work, and I will pray for your Ass" then a laugh. We both laughed and hug up.