Ok, I don't wanna keep wallowing in sadness, self pity, or whtvr

I have congratulated the wrong person on having a baby in a ceremony party.
And to top it, two other groups, who were trying to guess took my prompt & showered her with compliments and congratulations, and even two gifts were pushed onto her hands before she could protest

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was young a foolish. My cousin and my brother and their friend drank a bunch of beer. My cousin was driving (yes he was driving while under the influence which wasn't a big deal back then) and stopped suddenly because he had to pee. He had stopped on a small country bridge and the three of them stood side by side peeing into the small creek about 20 feet below. Suddenly my brother and friend noticed that my cousin was no longer standing between them. It turned out that he was so drunk he went head first over the edge of the bridge. Fortunately he was still sober enough to grab the guardrail as he went over and was hanging from the guardrail asking for help.

My boss is a very buxom woman. One day passing her in the doorway her boobs pressed against my arm.
She smiled.
I said: well, one of us got a cheap thrill

My entire life has been a joke, all i can do is laugh at this point lol

I would if I could think of something hilarious that has happened to me. I've been pretty far away from funny things for a long time.