Do you think it is better not to share your negative experiences about other members in public threads?

I try to stay out of the appreciation threads. I've myself been targeted by haters badmouthing me and attacking me, even after we've been blocked one way or another. Nowadays I try to put it forward to the user and confront them directly if I have an issue with them.

I've made some anonymous posts, but those are more based on a pattern of behavior than a specific user, tho inspired by someone. I do however see enablers being a bigger issue and most of my anonymous posts have these included as a part of the post. I've been attacked by enablers when confronting someone directly and even on my anonymous posts, to a length where I also had several people flagging a half dozen of my posts. There wouldn't be bullies and harassers around if they no longer had an audience of enablers telling them how lovely they are when they whine about being confronted with their crap.

If you have a personal issue with someone, where you are both on equal standing then you should keep it in private unless you believe that the person poses a risk to other members. By all means talk to your friends in PM about the issue, that's fine if you want to do that. I'm not a fan of public assassinations unless the target has clearly asked for it, by which I mean that they've willingly transgressed in a manner that is utterly cruel or inappropriate. This does not mean that they've disagreed with you. This means that they've harrassed you or bullied you, sexually or otherwise, or they're acting illegally. Obviously the correct course of action according to the TOS would be to block or report, or both, but I wouldn't blame someone for going public in these instances.

Shout outs are nice in theory but tend to favour members who have a greater influence on the site which is kind of toxic. I’ve named and shamed because of the disparity over how some people try to present themselves versus what they can be like in private message. And how will you ever know if your a user like me who isn’t active enough to join all the dots. Someone send me cheat sheets

I lean towards it being OK. Its a case by case thing. Intention matters.

This is a community, and like any community we should be made aware if there are parasites or predators in our midst. If this is being done properly by admin then great, if it isn't, then members of the community have to stand up for themselves.

Imo if it's a credible account of a person's behavior and not some half baked petty nonsense, then it is in everyone's best interest to hear about it. Some negative experiences need to be shared

I do whatever the fuck I feel like.. 😷 if I get banned I get banned.. if I get blocked I get blocked.. if people hate me they hate me..

The end..

All of it ends one day.. their hate will die with them..

I care less and less about TOS when they contradict logic, and positive behaviors..

Sure is some shit drama? Yes.. but if people never get all the shit out of the way.. healing never begins.. it’s the same with fighting with family.. eventually things can be restored.. maybe not always.. but there’s a higher chance when the fighting gets out of the way..

And if it doesn’t then it doesn’t..

Funny how we’ll see ads about bullying or violence like domestic assault where they guilt trip you on the commercials or propaganda that if you didn’t report it or get involved you’re just as bad for letting it happen etc..

But then SW tos is like “No! How dare you speak the truth!”

And true, is it truth? Or is it lies? Is it a tos instilled to make sure lies and false rumors don’t spread like wildfire.. from the worst kind of people? Most likely yes..

But idk.. I think most normal people only want to talk shit to show they’re not afraid.. and that they’re not a pussy about what other people might think..

It’s weird that it’s more of a guideline cuz I don’t think SW would have any members left if you couldn’t do these things.. we’d all have been banned at some point..

I think it’s shitty in a lot of cases. We all have people we’d don’t get along with for any number of reasons and trying to turn other people against them is often just petty (whether it’s in posts or privately tbh)

If someone is doing something dangerous or harmful that’s a different thing. I think it’s important to make people aware of that.

But it’s also important how those posts/comments are made. If someone harasses you or threatens you why make a post making fun of how they look or something unrelated. If there is a serious problem with their behavior then it doesn’t matter if you don’t like their pictures 🤷‍♀️

I think it depends on the person and the experience. With me, I would want anyone having a negative experience to voice it and tag me so I could respond.

You had a negative experience with me and you called me out on it publicly. I had made a wrong assumption about your ethnicity while trying to be culturally sensitive. You correctly called me out on it and (I hope) I explained myself and then apologized.

And I think that was handled correctly. But I know there are people who would have taken my mistake and talked behind my back about it. Thank you for not doing that.

And there are also people who, when confronted about a legit mistake wouldn't have explained or apologized. I was taught to say I'm sorry when I make mistakes.

So while I think in general we are all better off when we deal with issues in the light of day and have open hearts ... I know that in the real world and especially here that doesn't always yield the best result. 🤷‍♀️

It's always a bad thing, to me. Any issues should remain between the individuals, privately. Like adults (hah). I don't participate in either type of threads. Here, they all get turned into a bash fest.

Mostly the reason someone does the public post, is to get sympathy and for others to jump on the bandwagon and make them feel justified. I abhor those posts.

A good friend of mine once told me
The least said the easiest mended

I don't do that but sometimes I found useful when others did. If I had a conflict with someone that felt just weird I searched their name and usually saw they were notorious for stirring shit so I just dropped it and didn't give it another thought.

I have been at the edge of posting such things before then deleted it as I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing I have negative feelings about them, it’s all bait

I used to post about posts on here all the time, the new feed makes it pointless tho

And shaming people publicly is fine IMO, u send unsolicited dickpics you get a post about you and mass mocked. Good for the place IMO and pedos and such: also fair game

If you have proof of creepy or illegal behaviour and you post it that’s fine. If someone just hurt you in a private way (relationship issue/drama) then naming them is stupid

People don’t seem to understand people are both good and bad to different people

What did i do this time???

I suppose in a way it just perpetuates the negativity.

I have done it before. Sometimes if i listen to my better judgment i rise above it 😂

I try not to but when you see the same people doing nasty things again and again it can be hard not to stoop to their level at times.

I think it's ok to share.

And Delete it later , Just to make sure that post isn't a reminder of that experience.

As long as you dont name the person your talking about.

if you have a personal issue with someone, i don't mean just a disagreement, try to sort it out privately, but don't waste to much energy on it. you can't expect to get on with everyone, or for everyone to like you.

if someone is personally abusing you, report them privately to admin.

trying to form gangs and getting your friends to back you up is school playground stuff. we should be beyond that sort of behaviour.

I think there is a whole bunch of gray area, depending on what happened...

I never do. Drama is all bad really.

It's all relative

I want to say that normally it is better to keep it private, unless maybe it's when they are trying to get more people to report someone.

If it’s already been posted on a post then why not? It’s already out there isn’t it?

Not sure if it’s okay but if it’s okay for someone else then it should be okay for anyone to do.