How many times do you rescue a friend....

We have a family friend that ended up homeless and lost everything. Due to husband beating on her, both heavy drinkers, both went to jail, both, got into trouble, yada yada yada

Anyways as a lifetime friend we offer to help her out till she saved up money, get cleaned and sober, get her place and such.

6 months go by she is doing great, staying clean, saving money and then the courts say she can go to the ex boyfriend to get her car and stuff with a police escort.

That's when shit starts going down hill.

Car is not safe to drive, expire plates, and she gets a bug up her ass to drive to the city in this busted ass car.

Get a call from the jail that she was picked up for DUI. Let her sit till her Probation office releases her. She sits for 4 weeks.

She comes back home, that's strike 1

She is caught hanging out with a known dope dealer, but the friend is not known for using. But friend has been used as a drug mule before and was busted for it. This is strike 2

She gets a bug up her ass and starts talking to the ex . She is back with the dude that put her in the hospital the first time and decides to move out against our advice. Strike 3

Guess who called this morning looking to be rescued again.

What would you do? I want to done with her stupid ass, but I also dont want to see her in the hospital or dead either. I'm caught between a rock and hard place.

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WillaKissing · 56-60, M

I have been there with an Army friend named Troy that was put out of the Army on a Mental disability retirement. I bought his kids Christmas gifts when he was going through a divorce and the alcoholism set in on Troy, then smoking pot, then he went homeless and was living in a broken-down RV parked on a store parking lot. The police impounded and arrested Troy for fighting them on that store parking lot. When in Jail I was contacted by Troy's older brother that was in the Army as well and now retired, and the brother said just before Troy was arrested by the police he had been at his brother's house seeking money because Troy was now smoking crack and meth. The brother refused to give Troy money until Troy went into a sobriety program and got clean. That was when Troy pulled a gun and threatened to kill his older brother. The older brother advised me not to take the younger brother into my home post his release from jail, because things would have disappeared from my home to be sold for drugs, and I was raising my daughter still as my son was now in the Army. That I did not need the life hassle and possible threat.

I took that advise and was glad I did so. Post Troys release from jail, he repeated fighting the police getting arrested drugs and alcohol and mentally lost. Troy once released his final time from jail went to a halfway house and hung himself while high and drunk.

Troy's older brother and I hugged and cried at Troy's funeral as well as Troys eldest son that was just inducted into the US Airforce for a year and a half.

Brother it is hard to stay on the side lines watching a person destroy themselves that you love, but there is only so much a person can do. You have to let her find her own way. The school of hard knocks to save your own family and family lives and peace.

HumanEarth · F

Just what we're going to do.

Levenrack · 46-50, M

@WillaKissing Times be like that.
[media=https://youtu.be/AEB6ibtdPZc?si=aHuG6395bnI69qP9]

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@HumanEarth Honestly that is all you can do, if you want to maintain your happy life and family. It does not mean we do not care or love them any longer, but they have to change themselves before being let back into the family fold.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@Levenrack Fantastic add to this topic.