Because there is no grand problem at the moment, I'm feeling restless.

I finished my work completely (no work at home during this weekend)

I left work early

I am not stressed about work per se, except for some arguements and stuff with a friend at work. But I believe it is not weighing on me much.

I even had time to watch a movie after work!

Now, I should be focusing on other aspects of my life... but I'm restless. I'm anxious. It feels like I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop. It feels like I have things undone. (Well, yeah, I do in my personal life) but instead of doing them I'm just stressed about nothing. (Usually I don't do them when I'm stressed about work, but I don't have work.)

I don't want this to happen to me...but the guilt for some reason is eating me, the feeling of unworthiness (even if objectively I know I'm wrong to feel it) is messing with my mind.
Even my family have noticed how low I've been feeling recently, and those are people I don't want them to see how deep I've fallen. (after my workmates)

I miss the days I had hypomania when I felt in harmony with the world. I don't know if I miss it or if I wish I never tasted it.

I can't believe the psychiatrist told me I am neutral now. I don't feel neutral, but perhaps this is my neutral and this is who I am.

Oh god help me.