How difficult has it been for you to make and keep friendships as an adult?

It is clear to me that I do not know how to do this.

I feel like people aren't good friends.

I've had an acquaintance since March. I've only hung out with her twice, ever.
She is terrible at texting back (which she did admit to first time we met), but if you want to make friends, you need to reply to them.

It will literally take her 2 weeks to reply to a message. She won't even respond to what I actually said, but more like a "hey how have you been?" Then when I respond how I've actually been, no message for another 2 weeks. But she's good at inviting me to her get togethers; which I've never gone to, because I don't know her well.

I feel maybe she's just looking for another body to be at her parties or something. Can't possibly be looking for a friend.

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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

I've noticed that its a recent trend, people take forever to text back but its also ok to take your time to text back. I think culture is changing about this and going towards a less preasure attitude about intervals between texts, especially in younger people. the people I know who are below 35, especially the ones in their 20's , they take forever to text back, it seems to be a trend. I just adapt to the trend and I lower my expectations with those specific people. one of my best friends is a 23 year old lesbian and I have accepted that she is just like that, and when we see each other its awesome.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@reflectingmonkey for me, it's unacceptable, it shows lack of respect and uninterest. Totally different if you see each other enough (whatever amount of times works for both people. I doubt they are like that with everyone, just folks they don't deem as worthy. She took 2 weeks to reply to me, I took 5 days (should have waited longer) to tell her that this isn't gonna work for me because my friends need to be better communicators.

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

@iamnikki I find that every person there is an ideal distance I want to have with them, some i want close and to call each other every day, others are once-a-month friends or once-a-year friends. the friend I mentionned , for example, is a once a month friend. I text her, she'll answer at some time in the next week, we'll make a plan and hang out. we go on multiple-days trips together then we don't see each other for a month or two. I have friends that if they text I'll take a week to answer, sometimes 2 years.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@reflectingmonkey I don't see anything wrong with the first scenario you mentioned. I wouldn't mind a once-a-month friend either. Especially once a friendship has already been established. Myself and said person don't have a friendship, but how do you go from acquaintances to friends, when texts and outings are few and far between??
Edited to add she just responded to me.

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

@iamnikki I think among the casual friends one in a while someone comes along and both feel the desir to see each other more often. My other friend is a girl from Ukraine that I met in Colombia 4 years ago and accidently ran into her at a festival in Quebec this summer now lives in my city and she became a once a week friend.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@reflectingmonkey I would love love love a once a week friend. Never had that. Not even in HS. Wasn't allowed to do much or go anywhere.
What do you and once a year friends do?

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

@iamnikki usually I invite her over and we cook together or sometimes we go walk at the mountain which is in the middle of my city and 5 minutes from my house. she's a real globetrotter, she spent 2 years slowly going down the Amazon with a bunch of hippies, she's been to China , and honestly I know know that one day she'll leave and go back travelling around the world and it breaks my heart a bit.