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How do I make friends in college?

I'm an architecture student and I'm finding it hard to connect with people. I have a few people I talk to but it's more on the acquaintance side, but after that, we don't really talk outside of school related matters. I also have a hard time talking about more casual topics without making it sound like I'm conducting an interview.

I would really like some advice please.

Ps. No, my school does not have any hobby related clubs I could join, shame.
Listen to what your peers say in tutorials.
Take note of the ones you think give interesting answers. They're more likely to be proactive - have read the readings and done the exercises - keen and dedicated. Probably also deeper and more creative thinkers.

Ask if they'd like to meet you for coffee at the student cafeteria.
After the schoolwork chat peters out, try asking just one or two questions that gently lead into who they are.

Why did they choose architecture?
What style do they prefer?
Do they have any idea which area they'd prefer to specialise in?
(Take note - acoustics might suggest an interest in music; social housing might suggest a strong social conscience, etc - and that can lead off at tangents into other conversations.)
How do they feel about ecological issues and getting to zero carbon footprint?
How might they deal with difficult clients, builders or trade people?
What other studies, quals and experience would they like to gain to give them a competitive edge?

Or, if all that still seems too much like shop talk, try asking just one question:
"What do you feel most passionate about at the moment?"
That usually leads into a topic they love and can generate quite a bit of conversation and "getting to know you".
Keep it casual and non-committal for most of the semester.
Don't try meeting off campus until a the week before the holiday break (this gives them a bit of time to get to know you through several chats).
Easter's coming up soon, an excellent chance to suggest meeting for lunch or coffee on the Saturday. If they say no (they're busy), ask if there's any other time that might suit them. If they say no to that, just offer brightly, "Oh well, have a great break anyway," and leave it at that.

Making friends takes time, patience and effort. And sometimes one has to make quite a few to ensure that some stick around for a lifetime.
Some people get so hooked into their lives and duties that they forget the importance of friends for a meaningful quality of life.
When one knows someone well enough, one can ask whether they consider themselves introverted, extroverted, or somewhere between; what their ideal kind of friendship is, and whether they have any specific do's or don'ts (needs and boundaries). This can help a lot in learning how to get along with each individual.

There are some great blogs on friendship on the free online site [u]Psychology Today[/u].

Edward de Bono wrote a great book on the art of conversation called "How to Have a Beautiful Mind."
In it, he says that always agreeing can make people boring, while always disagreeing can make people seem perverse or overly critical - but that being 100% sincere is vital.
He recommends that if you mostly agree say so but add a problem, an exception or a slight drawback. That gives the other person something interesting to consider and respond to (without asking a question.) Conversely, if you mostly disagree, start by specifying what's excellent about that idea in certain situations, but what the serious problem is in all others - and what you'd prefer to do about it. Say it in a way that's gently provocative, and then make sure you listen carefully to their response. These approaches can lead in all sorts of directions. They're stimulating, and people often find they want to return for more.
If a person tells an anecdote to exemplify something, listen carefully to their tone, gestures and wording. Look for the emotion underlying it and respond first to that. For instance, supposing someone went bungee jumping on the weekend and pissed themselves on the way down. It's okay to laugh and say, "Wow! How did the others react when you got back? Did you feel embarrassed?" For most well-adjusted people, that shows you have empathy and creates connection. If they react negatively then they are probably a bit neurotic so one apologises, backs out, and doesn't cultivate that particular acquaintanceship.
I’d say try some of the following based on what interests you:
-Become a regular at the coffee shop if one is close to campus
-check out the various bulletin boards around the student center, union, etc. some times they have fliers about cool things to do
-see if there’s a film or book club on campus
-join a study group. Especially for the harder courses. That’s a good way to get to know people. And maybe y’all go out to eat after the midterm or big test

It doesn’t have to be a school organization. Just have to find similar interests outside of the classes
Invite your classmates out for coffee or lunch at the caf. Get to k ow them away from class. Attend activities on campus. Volunteer. Wander campus and say hello to people, engage them in conversation…ask them if there’s anything going on on campus. Bump around town or visit the library. Do more than go to class and stay in your room/apt.

It’s intimidating meeting new people but you’re not the only one searching for friends. I promise.
Convivial · 26-30, F
Become interested in life... And don't be scared, chances are the just as nervous as you.... Getting people to talk about their hobbies never fails... You'll often be looking for the off switch😜
Sjones13 · 36-40, M
Try to find someone you think would have similar interests with you and find activities there that you like and see who else is there
allygator18 · 22-25, F
i had to buy this book for a communication class:
Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M
Join student organizations!
Adrift · 56-60, F
I had always found that you kind of just gravitate towards the people that you have more in common with or alike.
Honestly I sucked at making friends in class.

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