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Why did my best friend lie to my face?

I’ve posted about this previously, but one time, I googled my friend out of boredom, and found that her birthday was different than what she’d been telling me. She told me her birthday was on August 3rd, 1998, but everything I’d found (court records, voter registration) showed her birthday to be on October 10, 1998. I confronted her about it and she said that that wasn’t true. Well, we aren’t speaking right now due to different reasons, and I got bored again and decided to do more digging. (Which I know probably isn’t a good thing.) I found her birth record that has her parents name’s on it. Sure enough, it says October 10,1998. Why would she lie to my face about it? It’s not like I haven’t been celebrating her birthday on August 3rd. If she didn’t want me to celebrate her birthday or something, I would’ve understood. But why lie about it? My feelings are really hurt and I don’t know if I should just let it go or confront her about lying.

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Johnblackthorn · 56-60, M

If you Google my name and look hard enough to find me you'll find the date of birth for my identity, it's the date of birth on all my documents and it's the date of birth I use, however it's not the date or year I was born on.
There are many different reasons for this to be the case, victim or witness relocation being the most common, sometimes people just need a new identity and their families get dragged along for the ride.

TexChik · F

Some things just need to remain a mystery . There is obviously a reason but it is also her right to keep that reason private . It’s time you respected that don’t you think ?

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@TexChik That makes sense, but why not just tell me she wants to keep it private? I would’ve respected that. But she lied to me instead...

TexChik · F

@sabrinarose at this point it doesn’t matter . She didn’t deem it important to tell you . Now that you are no longer friends , does it really matter? You know she lied . Leave it at that . Anything else you do regarding that now is going to appear very stalker like . 🤷🏻‍♀️

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

That’s why I’ll probably let it go. And we are still friends, just not talking at the moment. @TexChik

HootyTheNightOwl

Wow, you've got a good life if the only thing that you have to worry about is the fact that your friend has a different birthday to what you were told.

When I was 18, I was more concerned about my own life than the lives of my friends.

As for her birthday... people choose a different day to celebrate for a variety of reasons. Maybe her actual birthday holds unpleasant memories that she would rather not go into??? Or she just didn't want some nosy parker sticking their nose into matters that don't concern them???

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sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Fair enough. But I did ask her, and she lied to me. But I guess I’ll just let it go and hope she had a good reason.

HootyTheNightOwl

@sabrinarose Can you tell me why you feel so desperate to get to the truth of the matter???

From my angle, it doesn't make sense. I get that you feel that you were lied to all that time, but, if you hadn't Googled her, then you'd likely still believe that her birthday was in August as she said. I can also understand the "If she lied about this, what else has she lied about?" idea, too.

What I don't get is why you are letting it bother you so much if you are no longer friends with her and you aren't still associating with her??? Obviously, if you still have some contact with her, then it makes sense to come clean and get the reason why straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

If you aren't in contact with her anymore, I don't get why you still let it bother you as opposed to accepting it as a mystery that you will never know, setting it aside like old garbage and moving forward with your life??? At the end of the day, there's nothing preventing you from moving forward with your life regardless of if you ever get the answer that you want or not.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl We are still friends, we are just not speaking at the moment. It bothers me because I was lied to to my face. But I’ve decided to let it go now.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

She wanted a different zodiac sign

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@plungesponge 😂😂😂

4meAndyou · F

Well, some people are pathological liars. I've been married to one of them, so I know what they are like. They lie once, and then they don't know how to un-tell the lie, or even explain WHY they told that lie. Because there IS no explanation. It's just what they do...like breathing.

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sabrinarose · 26-30, F

How is asking when someone’s birthday is too personal? 😂😂😂@4meAndyou

4meAndyou · F

@sabrinarose I give up. Maybe you are just teeing her off and she wants to eff with you because you are too nosy.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@4meAndyou Maybe.

SW-User

Why you snooping around on your friend?

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sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@SW-User Even though she lied to my face about it? And yeah, snooping probably wasn’t right. But it’s all things that are public information.

SW-User

@sabrinarose you must be really fucking bored to be searching birth records. Just drop it before she drops you. It's not your business.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

Fair enough. @SW-User

Orlbe · 26-30, F

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Orlbe · 26-30, F

@sabrinarose Clearly you know she lied, right? The question is why?
So what I am saying is that may be August 3rd means something to her that she choose to celebrate her bday on that day. It's really not that deep. She lied to you and you went behind her back to Google her. It seems toxic. Do you have other friends? Maybe just stop pressuring her for the truth and driving yourself crazy wondering why. Either she is delusional Or she has her reasons. Sorry your best friend lied to you! If you can't trust her just cut your losses and move on to a better friend :)

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@Orlbe Yeah. I know snooping wasn’t right. I feel bad about it. It’s just that this isn’t the first time she’s lied about something. But I think I’ll probably drop it.

Orlbe · 26-30, F

@sabrinarose Good idea 🤗

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

I lied to my friend about my month of birth too. There is a personal reason to it that is hurtful that I will never share with her ever.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

So sorry to hear that. 😔@assemblingaknob

SW-User

let it go

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